Neptune Transiting the 5th House

What once began as a search for a meaningful relationship has expanded to encompass my entire life. Dating, for me, has often been an egocentric process. I want this, I want that, I have a list of things, etc. While those needs are no less real, something is missing: I am prioritizing satisfaction, not growth. I am not thinking about using the relationship, simply enjoying myself within its confines.

Neptune is a sign of spirituality, mysticism and ego-transcendent experience. It dissolves the ego and the 5th house, in many ways, celebrates or expresses the ego. I really believe Neptune is the planet of "calling"...it beckons you toward your highest purpose or mission in life, which is represented by Pluto. I imagine Neptune asking me to open myself up to something much greater than myself-something beyond ordinary perception or consciousness.

While the fiery ego-drive of the 5th house and the watery ego-transcending Neptune are polar opposites elementally, there must be a way to reconcile them. My intuition says: Ask yourself if a relationship with this individual has the potential to positively affect you AND society. Maybe society isn't the best word, more like "greater good." That also can't be the sole factor, remember the concrete needs of Saturn? Let me illustrate with my life...

Earlier this year, I had a short relationship with someone in my Buddhist organization. She was a few years older and had a child, very pretty. Matter of fact, I would say she may have been the most beautiful woman I've been with thus far. I assumed that because she was beautiful and we were of the same faith, no matter what, we would succeed. I prioritized our greater purpose and potential over everything else. The result? In the end, we connected on a physical and spiritual level but certain dimensions were sorely missing. We didn't really like any of the same music, which may not be such a big deal but is indicative of different "wavelengths"...if we tune in to the same radio station, we are likely to tune in to similar vibes. We also had different ideas about romance and our personalities clash. All those fun, romantic, 5th house needs weren't being met.

So it can go both ways: romance/self-expression could be sacrificed for spirituality, or spirituality could be sacrificed for romance. I think the key is patience patience patience. Can't force anything. On another level, employing more intuitive methods of screening may help. Somebody could satisfy my checklist but how do I feel about this individual? Can I see myself with them? Does it feel right? I think that is the minimum.

In reality it all makes sense. I am very involved with my Buddhist organization and have noticed that its tough for me to prioritize my spiritual practice when I am dating. Not because of dating itself, but because it is something I typically keep hidden from my partners. Maybe hidden isn't the right word because I do tell them about my practice. Generally though, it is something I keep away from them and that creates a separation. It's all in the approach...if I'm a spiritual person, someone else needs to have a complementary degree of spirituality. Doesn't necessarily need to be the same faith but there needs to be a connection in that dimension.

-Shade