Searching...

Apollo wants Daphne and just as he almost has her, she cries out to her father, who transforms her into a tree. Almost! Of course, there's a lot more to that story but I see myself in Apollo's role, sort of.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm searching for Spock out here! Holding onto hope that each planet is just one closer to my goal, I continue to enterprise. How do I make sense of it all? I think this is a basic question astrologers entertain and contemplate daily. It is a quintessential quandary for all mankind that we answer using the language of astrology, no matter how large or small our universe at the moment.

As I begin to confront the reality of choosing a path, my approach to love and relationships takes on a new significance. It feels as if I can't afford to vacillate, "choose it or lose it." One such issue is children. If I want to have 3-5 children, as I have often considered, then at 28, it is time to get started. If I want to only have 1 or 2, more time can be afforded. The issue of children becomes a central issue within itself...is this woman open to having to children, vehemently opposed, or ready to have one tomorrow? Things change and I don't want to overthink but the reality is that it is a serious consideration, at least it feels this way now.

I have thought about astrological compatibility since I first began dabbling with the subject. I have had the privilege of dating almost every sign, so that I have actual experiential impressions to project with. One point of interest has been the role of cusps, as I have had longer relationships with women born on a cusp. Another has been modality, since I've noticed more compatibility with Fixed signs. Some quick stats: 1st* girlfriend Nov. 21 (Scorpio) 3 years, 2nd girlfriend Aug. 22 (Leo) 3 years, last girlfriend Apr. 21 (Taurus) 3 months. I know 3 months isn't as long as 3 years but I'm only 28 and have only had so many girlfriends (lots and lots of dates though).

Constantly in motion, I believe Fixed signs provide the respite to sustain the immense and often scattered energy I put out. Other Mutable signs create a volatile combination that isn't sustainable and all too familiar. Cardinal signs, hmmm. I seem to get annoyed or tired out by them. Just want to reiterate, this is all in a romantic context. I don't want all the Mutable and Cardinal signs coming for my head!

I have 2 dates today, a Scorpio (non-cusp) and an Aries (cusp). It is my second date with the Scorpio, who is a very nice woman. 30, no kids, schoolteacher, a classic beauty. With Scorpios, I never notice an outright spark...it is more of a slow burn. We had tea and took a short walk, no make out sessions. I had a very sexually intense relationship with my Scorpio girlfriend but it took time, lots of trust. Nothing happens quickly with Scorpio, and it always feels very deliberate.

I think this Aries is going to cancel but we'll see. On paper, she seems great. I find her attractive (she was actually my nurse last year!) and we have a pretty fun interaction. I looked at our charts and we're super compatible but that has happened many times before and gone nowhere.

My energy has been wild. Some days, it is very masculine, aggressive, and intense (like last Friday). Others, very still and passive. Today, I feel calmer but that could all change when Uranus is visiting. It is a 1 day, with Venus Trining natal Uranus, which spells newness and excitement seeking. It would be quite exciting to know after today, that I am involved in a relationship that will last longer than 2 dates! Short relationships have been the norm lately

*I had 2 girlfriends before her. My 1st was a Capricorn but I was young and it only lasted a few weeks. My *realer" 1st was a Sagittarius and we had a 3-month long-distance relationship when I was in college. We lost our virginity together and I (we?) was very much in love.

Saturn Approaches: The Fork in the Road

Gone are the days of "good" and "bad" people. Actually, it's less about "people" and more about me. I can no longer delude myself by counting another's wealth and thinking I'm rich. I see 2 paths, clear as daylight and it is time to choose.

I was writing descriptions of the 2 paths but it doesn't matter. That is my own internal struggle. What does matter is the awareness. I think major transits ask questions, whether we understand the language or not. Makes sense why Dane Rudhyar said 'Events don't happen to people, people happen to events," because it is up to us to answer.

For me (lately), there is some responsibility and either someone invites me to party or I invite myself to party. I have to decide how seriously to take my obligations. Yes, I can prep last minute and do a fine job in the morning. But I could also get a full nights rest and set myself up a lot better. Just because you should, doesn't mean you should.

Nowhere have things become more starkly apparent, than my romantic life. I think beyond the relationship itself, considering its impact. It's not just about playing house, its about my mission. I'm asking myself, why do I want to get married? Why do I want to have children? Not simply going along with it because that's what grown-ups do. My mission on this earth, my path, is deciding what relationships I form, not the other way around.

I have Saturn Conjuncting Venus right now, and my aesthetic values have begun to sharpen and crystallize. Above is a sculpture by Gian Lorenzo Bernini, a fellow Sagittarian, and I love all of his work. The image at the top is L'Estasi di Santa Teresa, one of Bernini's masterpieces. I also like Leonid Afremov's oil paintings...all of them. Jupiter is also trining Venus, which would explain the expansion into fine art.

This "fork" effect could also be the result of both Saturn and Jupiter acting on Venus at the same time. Saturn is saying be conservative, Jupiter is saying turn up! I had a similar concurrence last year, except I don't remember feeling so dramatic. A big difference is that both of these are on their "3rd pass:" they were forward, then went retrograde, and now are moving forward for good. The familiarity elucidates the pattern, carving the "path" all the more clearer. I am also only 7 months from Saturn returning, so there is an added sense of gravity.

Will I experience some profound ecstasy a la Saint Teresa? Uranus is asking me about a new pattern as well. What else can I say but stay tuned!

May Predictions

This is a critical month! Unemployment has run out and I need to get working ASAP. Venus energy is running high. Uranus energy is running high. 1 months are all about independence, assertiveness, and new beginnings AKA everything Aries. Mars finally goes direct in the latter part of the month. The weather is warmer. Love is in the air and the students are leaving town. Things get intense from the middle to latter part of the month.

If I were to translate this month to a phrase: Lots of unexpected opportunities and conflicts with women, which results in a new structure. I want to begin a new career and relationship. I'm ready!

Jupiter Trine Venus
Been eating and drinking a lot more lately. Have been more creative and extravagant with spending. "I just wanna party." I want this to translate positive monetarily/career wise!

Uranus Trine Mercury (separating)
May travel more than usual. My love for "rare" words/vocabulary has been sparked. Been playing with language a lot more lately.

Uranus Conjunct Moon
This influence is getting tiring. I better get used to it though, this is just the first pass! It is feast or famine. Sometimes, I get an avalanche of female attention, others, nothing. It can all dissipate in the course of a day. Lots of flings and things that seem promising but go nowhere or abruptly end. Becoming a little annoyed with one roommate and living with roommates in general. Really tough to establish a routine for anything.

Saturn Conjunct Venus (applying)
I have been having thoughts around what works and what doesn't, as far as relationships. Have been getting practical, tangible advice on artistic creation. Everything Venus is getting much "realer," not so daydreamy. Commitment is sexier than usual. Want to see my artistic endeavors pay off, which I know requires dedication.

5/3 Venus Trine Sun, Saturn (4)
I ended up having a crazy day! Met with an older woman (45) and we hung out for most of the day. We definitely got intimate. Then, I met up with another girl that night and went dancing (which I never do)! We ended up making out and stuff.

5/8 Sun Opposition Venus (9)
This is an opportunity to learn more about myself through my relationships with others. Hidden tensions may also come to the surface, especially with Uranus Conjunct Moon in the background. Good day for company and socializing, with Mercury entering Gemini. May bring out more of a philosophical and existential approach to relationships, a day of understanding rather than "action."

5/8 Mercury Opposition Sun, Saturn (9)
Entering 8th house, this is a day of raising lingering issues and engaging in necessary conflict productively. The key will be to not become discouraged with whatever realizations or feelings come as a result of my interactions and conversations with others. With 2 oppositions occurring and Saturn weighing heavier, this may not be a very "pleasant" day.

5/15 Mercury Opposition Mercury (7)
High-strung mental activity! A clash of the minds perhaps? Like the previous Mercury transit, necessary conversations need to take place. Plans may not work out as intended due to scheduling conflicts.

5/15 Venus Trine Mercury (7)
Great day for socializing and communicating feelings. Traditionally, this is seen as a pleasant influence but in light of the concurrent Mercury transit, it may be a mollifier for a not-so-pleasant exchange.

5/16 Venus Conjunct Moon (8)
Uranus and Venus both conjunct Moon in Aries on an 8 day...sounds explosive! It will be the beginning of the weekend, and spring is in full swing. I am going to a Buddhist meeting in the evening with other young folks. There is no way something WON'T happen, with all this Aries energy converging. I doubt something will happen at that meeting, because I won't really want it to.  I will only expect the unexpected...Moon will be in Sagittarius from 15th to 17th, so feelings are expanded and opportunities are plenty.

5/17 Mercury Opposition Uranus (9)
Heavy mental stimulation; excitement seeking. More openness to something unexpected. Things may escalate quickly. 

5/17 Venus Opposition Mars (9)
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. This is sexual tension at its finest! Due to the cluster of transits occurring in such a close span, I am confident something significant will transpire romantically. As of now, I have no clear-cut romantic interest, although I have been seeking more seriously lately. On 2nd thought, there is a situation with mutual interest that hasn't seem to go anywhere due to scheduling difficulties. In light of the grand scheme of things, this may be a purely physical/temporary arrangement (as everything has been in the last year or so!). Since 9 completes a cycle, this may be the result of something on the 8th.

5/18 Venus Trine Uranus (1)
More excitement on the social/romantic front. Something happens and all signs are pointing to something unexpected and ephemeral. I'm just gonna make things easy for myself and simply remember to enjoy the ride!

5/20 Mars goes direct (3)
Mars won't resume normal pace until early June. May be a time when a period of low-energy and introspection finally begins to yield more in the way of action. Time to move forward. Since my Mars is in Libra, and this is a 3 day, I think there is a significance for me, creatively. A time of clarity, at least until Mercury goes retrograde in June. 

5/21 Sun Opposition Sun, Saturn (4)
Dovetailing Mars going direct, I see a creative climax. A crucial moment, in which I am aware of the structures and limitations that inhibit my progress. I see a breakthrough, perhaps a clash with authority or other males.