The Nodal Axis

The nodal axis is very important, and something I am really just beginning to understand and comfortably assimilate into my astrological practice. My first more in-depth reading was a few years ago, when I purchased Astrology for the Soul by Jan Spiller. I am a North Node Taurus and much of what she wrote was accurate. Somehow, as fascinated as I was, I didn't really explore it more. I guess we're ready when we're ready. Let's look at what some others have to say before I get into my experience:

From Astro.com:
"They seem to have a profoundly metaphysical meaning, since it is on these points that the Sun, Moon and Earth are in alignment, so they are the meeting place, symbolically, of spirit, soul and matter, both collectively and individually. Another important point about the nodal axis is that it is moving in the opposite direction to the Sun and all the other planets. As the angles and all the planets move forward or anti-clockwise around our charts, they describe how we engage with and relate to the world around us. The Ascendant/Descendant axis and the MC/IC axis are doors into the world, describing our struggle to extract ourselves from the parental matrix, to put down our own roots and find our own place in the world, and to define ourselves through partnerships. In contrast, the nodal axis moves backward or clockwise around our charts. It is not so tied up with the dramas of life. Rather, it seems to function as a doorway into other dimensions, where we can sometimes glimpse or sense our soul's purpose and pattern, our entelechy, the deeper purpose and function of our existence. And this can be very different from the more conscious or worldly goals we set for ourselves."

From MauriceFernandez.com:
"The Nodal Axis of the Moon not only describes our identity and attachments, but also our growth processes and evolution occurring on an identity level. The South Node captures the identity we bring with us into this world from past life experiences: how we personally perceive existence and go about it. In other words, the South Node tells of our general approach to life based on where we are coming from and what we have experienced. This can include great achievements or conversely traumatic experiences. The North Node describes themes that we need to learn about and incorporate into our existing identity so that we can resolve issues we are coming with, or else expand on existing foundations.
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It seems, however, that when the Nodes are studied a common misconception about them keeps reappearing. This misconception is specific to the understanding and use of the South Node, which is often perceived as something one must evolve away from, or even worse, a debilitating influence. Personal research shows that what happens in reality may be different: the South Node is a highly important factor that stimulates new development and growth just as much as the North Node does.
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The main principle to understand and incorporate is that regardless of where one is at when beginning the current incarnation, one must eventually balance the Nodal extremes. Until this is completed, internal polarization is bound to cause crisis and mismanagement in one’s life. It may be worth using the Nodal Axis as an axis and adopting a more holistic approach that sees both Nodes as equally relevant. Our past described in the South Node cannot be dismissed—it is an integral part of our future as well."

From CafeAstrology.com:
"The theory behind the Nodes of the Moon (the North Node and South Node) suggests that we all come into this world with some underdeveloped and overdeveloped aspects of our character. The Nodes of the Moon point us to these specific qualities: the South Node suggests our overdeveloped character traits that are easy for us to fall back on, but that may undermine our lives if we hold on to these traits for security; while the North Node suggests the qualities that we need to develop in order to find inner balance.
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The Nodes of the Moon suggest personal karmic imbalance. Thus, consciously working on these "life lessons" can bring us to increased happiness and fulfillment. If we over-emphasize and fall back on the qualities of our South Node, at the expense of developing our North Node, we may have a difficult time feeling personally successful.

Whether or not we consciously work on these lessons, events in our lives are likely to force us to confront them. In my experience, people often begin to confront and work on their North Node lessons in their thirties, whether or not they are aware of the issues through Astrology. Before this stage of our lives, we may be somewhat blind to our South Node tendencies.
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Fear is associated with South Node issues. The South Node position is very often a point of great insecurity. We very much want what is represented by the South Node position, whether that is order in our lives (South Node in Virgo/6th house) or satisfaction in partnerships (South Node in Libra/7th house). However, the only way we can feel successful in these areas is through working on the qualities of the opposite sign (North Node position). We may resist doing this quite fervently, especially in the first 30 years of our lives, partly because we cannot see that letting go of some of our obsessions, and working on the polarity, will bring satisfaction to the South Node areas. Thus, the North Node represents a point of challenge and growth. One feels somewhat awkward and uncertain in the areas represented by the North Node (its sign and house). The North Node can also be considered a point of inflow. We need help with our North Node issues, and we often meet people who will help us confront these issues."

That's a lot to digest! To summarize, the gist of the nodal axis, in my opinion, is balance.  The South Node is over-developed and the North Node is under-developed, so we must challenge ourselves to incorporate North Node in our lives. South Node is not to be abandoned totally, or looked at something inherently malefic. The lesson is found in integrating qualities of both, which is a more holistic view of life, and one that I ascribe to.

Some associations for South Node include: past/inherent karma, the past, childhood, regression, old habits and comforts, over-development. North Node: karmic mission, progression, growth, challenge, future, under-development. Transits are typically interpreted as conjunct, which makes sense for an axis. Some issue or person, which the transiting planet represents, is brought to awareness in accordance with the node it is aspecting. For example, Venus conjunct South Node could be the end of a relationship and it depends on the native as to whether this is a "loss" or the resolution of the relationship and an opportunity to begin anew. No matter what happens in life, it is my firm belief that anything can be used as an opportunity for growth.

I am trying to think of how to interpret the square to the nodal axis, as it aspects both the North and South node. Speaking of which, I have natal Jupiter square nodal axis within 2 degrees. Planets aspecting the nodal axis in a natal chart need to be factored in. Jupiter is all about expansion, so issues of faith, overconfidence, overextension, and boundaries need to be considered in achieving balance.

I imagine the South Node as a wellspring of energy, a gift inherited in this life (time). The North Node is a potentiality reservoir, that when activated, achieves a harmony that facilitates growth. What would be the purpose of balancing the axis? Surely not for the sake of balance itself! The energy from the South Node needs to be pushed or directed towards the North Node, so that the potentiality is actualized instead of merely circulating in the South.

Being conscious of the need to assimilate the North Node, when any transit aspects the axis, we can seize the opportunity to further advance. When Venus conjuncts my South Node this Halloween, karmic issues surrounding my values, finances, creativity, and relationships will be presented. Values are at the core of this axis, and my South Node being in Scorpio: crisis, intensity, spiritual plane, merging/dependency, transformation. North Node: stability, steady growth, material plane, independence, perseverance.

Something I've realized in interpreting astrology for myself, is that I need to be "harsher". To be as brutally honest with myself as possible, not shying away from things I easily turn a blind eye to. I think I have a tendency to view life as a roller coaster ride, a series of intense moments. For the last 10 years, I can honestly say I've dealt with crises of increasing intensity. Basically, there is a focus on the spiritual world and negligence of the material. The question is: how can I use my spiritual attunement/intense desires to create or build something tangible with real (monetary) value? How can I develop my own self-worth to work towards securing peace, instead of depending on, or expecting others to constantly rescue me from crises (my own negligence)?

The answer is in my chart. From here on out, I'm going to use the nodal axis as the nucleus or prime point to which the rest of the chart supports. As stated on Astro.com: "Rather, it seems to function as a doorway into other dimensions, where we can sometimes glimpse or sense our soul's purpose and pattern, our entelechy, the deeper purpose and function of our existence. And this can be very different from the more conscious or worldly goals we set for ourselves." OK, enough for today! Let's explore the various axes another time.

7th House Uranus Survival Guide

Rereading interpretations of Uranus transiting 7th house and Uranus conjuncting Moon, I gained more clarity into what is happening. I've compiled this survival guide, with a few excerpts from other sites, so that others dealing with the same transits can get more perspective. I hope it helps, it's already helping me.

Timeline:

June 2014 (Uranus crossing DC, conjuncting Moon) Began dating a woman
July 2014 (Uranus retrograding) We had a "talk" to establish our "unconventional" relationship, that was very liberating
August 2014 (Uranus crossing DC) Begin relationship with another woman
September 2014 (Uranus separating DC and Moon) Last time we would see each other, unbeknowst to me
October 8, 2014 (Lunar Eclipse) After weeks of not seeing each other, I "end" things, seeking closure. Quit my job suddenly (Uranus now in 6th house)
October 23, 2014 (Solar Eclipse) The second woman I met leaves
December 22, 2014 (Uranus goes direct) Lessons learned, ready to move forward?
December 24, 2014 (Saturn returns) ?
March 2015 (Uranus conjuncts Moon) Beginning of a relationship?
April 2015 (Uranus crosses DC) Beginning of a relationship?
July 2015 (Uranus goes retrograde) Redefining/restructuring the relationship?
December 2015 (Uranus crosses DC and goes direct) Beginning of a relationship?
July 2021 (Uranus leaves 7th house!!)

So, recently I switched from whole sign houses back to Placidus, after doing a bit of research. Under whole sign houses, Uranus had been in my 7th house since 2012. However, this timeline, which is according to Placidus house system, makes a lot more sense. Looks like crossing the DC definitely results in a new relationship. I wonder how other planets crossing the DC manifest? I would prefer to not be single until March!

Doing this was actually very assuring, even if also a bit intimidating/disheartening. One part of me says with resignation "This is only the beginning?" Another part says, "It's only the beginning!" It is tough to predict how things will go for the next 7 years, especially for the most unpredictable planet. I can only imagine how different 28 year old me and 35 year old me are. Yet, if this rhythm holds true, the "worst" is over in a little over a year. By "worst," I mean tumultuous, since sensitive points such as the DC and Moon won't be aspected again.

After December next year, the next 7th house transit is Uranus Opposition Pluto, from roughly June 2019 to April 2020. I don't even want to think about that...it sounds like a very tough transit but those are usually where we can grow the most. Uranus conjunct North Node, from roughly July 2020 to March 2021. North Node transits always have that "fated" feel. I know North Node represents what we need to grow towards and Uranus is about expanding awareness and liberation, so this will likely not be the easiest transit either.

Beyond 2021, even though Uranus leaves my 7th, it enters my 8th. I have a lot of planets in opposition for the next 7 years. So basically, relationships, sex, and money are going to be pretty crazy until my 40s. I thought I was really going through it now, but it looks like there's a lot more in store. I'm glad I looked ahead, it really gave me some perspective. Let's look at what some other sites have to say regarding Uranus 7th house/conjunct Moon transits:

From The Astrology Place:
"Uranus transits in the 7th house don‘t always mean that a relationship is divorce prone or uncooperative at this time
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Often the people we attract are different and we learn how to relate differently.
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The ability to cope with constant flux in the relationship during this seven-year stretch of Uranus is often needed. Whatever the scenario a certain amount of detachment and objectivity is helpful, and this doesn’t mean cold detachment, but a free-spirited attitude to social interactions."

From The DK Foundation:
"When Uranus transits the 7th House a person is freed from tendencies and habits in his relationships, which threaten his future development, both as an individual and as a partner. Yet, as this is H7 and the polar opposite of H1, the situations that give him his freedom at this time, are frequently the reverse of what he wills. When Uranus transits the cusp of H7 (the Descendant), a relationship frequently ends at the request of the partner or its boundaries have to be redefined in order to give the partner more room for maneuver. It is notable, however, that whenever this is the case, a person rapidly comes to realize that although this was not the outcome which he sought, it is nonetheless for the best and the experience usually makes him more aware of his own negative tendencies in relationships.

By the time Uranus leaves the 7th House a person usually has a much clearer idea of what, for him, represents healthy relating. In consequence, relationships based on the old patterns may be discarded on his own initiative, if they cannot be redefined."

From Astrology Library:
"Perhaps one person is required to be away from the other for long periods of time. This position may give many long distance, "casual" types of relationships. 

For a successful partnership, you and your partner will need to develop the qualities of tolerance, cooperation, detachment and freedom."

From The Future Minders:
"Often we fear letting go of our accustomed ways even when they may prevent us from achieving greater happiness. You tend to step out of character for awhile, which can mean a temporary break from the same old routine. Satisfying your usual interests is likely more difficult now as they may no longer have the same appeal, and you usually have a taste for something different. If you really desire to break free from old patterns that seem to restrain you, this is an excellent time to initiate steps to make your personal life more in synch with what you really want.
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Often this cycle affects your feelings, where you react more directly, especially if you usually avoid expressing your emotions. You generally are less predictable in how you respond, which can cause problems for those close to you. Understanding friends and partners should appreciate different sides that you may reveal suddenly for the first time.
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Regardless of how it manifests, this is a time that periodically upsets your routines. Success depends on how much you want to change particular patterns and how attached you are to whomever or whatever represents security."

From The Dark Pixie Astrology:
"Wanting to break free and be different, you could do things that don’t quite seem like you. It probably is you, just a you that hasn’t been accessed in a long time (or ever)."

From The Astrology X-Files:
"Because Uranus represents freedom and sudden surprises, you can expect any number of the following situations: loss of home or household or inability to depend upon your mother or female relatives, reactions from women that cause you to feel upset, a feeling of estrangement from your environment (that you don't belong) and an inability to depend on or take for granted the usual comforts of your life (like household applicances that spark with electrical fires or just stop working). Your domestic situation is bound to be in a state of turmoil and unsettledness that will make it hard for you to maintain emotional equilibrium. As a result you may begin to detach from those things in your life that are currently upsetting. You are going through a period of emotional change that will ultimately make you more emotionally independent and self reliant. The saying, "You can't go home anymore." should ring true to you now. The positive side of this is that your freedom will be enhanced by the end of this period."

From Cafe Astrology:
"You're also apt to find yourself much more discontented and impatient than normal, without quite knowing what would feel better or what you really want instead. Women, family members, and your intimates may behave unreliably or in new ways that demand you change in some significant way. Since "no one likes change but a wet baby", this can be a very trying but ultimately freeing time period for you.

Positive Potentials:

A liberation of the "wild woman" or "wild man" within you - your own free, natural instincts and core energy. Letting go of limiting, depleting, suppressed emotions, attitude, and roles. Learning to trust and to let go.

Negative Potentials:

Increased physical and emotional distress or anxiety, as you try to adjust to the waves of inner and outer change in your life. Mood swings, erratic emotions, insecurity, disequilibrium."

From Astrology Bits:
"The keyword is emotional upheaval. The deeper meaning is a profound emotional cleanse that will take place, with or without our consent. The entire emotion apparatus will be changed from the roots, outdated structures will be updated and, in the process, some serious noise will be generated. That may include, but not be limited to:

• sudden change of moods
• separation issues
• attachment issues
• violent enthusiasm followed by deep depression
• more visibility in the public eye
• a sense of rush and impatience

If you’re a man, be very careful at women during this transit. You may attract unusual partners, females that seem so uncontrollably attractive, surrounded by an electric aura, yet somehow unavailable. If there is a relation, then it will be incredibly intense and… short. Some of the relationships born under these circumstances may last, but, most of the time, they don’t. They’re created as tools, as ways to modify some of the calcified emotional responses, which are not useful anymore in our lives."

I re-joined a dating site I've used a few days ago, and quit this morning. Last night, I joined FetLife, which seemed great, maybe more of what I was looking for. However, it was a bit of a Pandora's Box. First of all, I found my (ex? the girl I who I ended things with on the 8th) on the site. It was like I had seen a ghost, I felt hollow inside but this old feeling rose up. After I while, I realized that it was triggering something deeper than her and that was what really needed my attention. Issues regarding my sexual expression made it uncomfortable at times to navigate the site. I felt the clash of old attitudes/comforts with exploration and uncertainty. The question: Is this a path I really want to explore or does this discomfort mean it's just not for me?

Knowing I have Venus in Scorpio, I feel like I'm never going to be able to have sexual relationships without emotional attachments, which complicates a lifestyle in which sharing partners is a very real possibility. To further complicate things, I think I have a good deal of jealousy for people who can live that lifestyle, as it seems so exciting, free, and interesting. Looking ahead, it will serve me better to head into the storm than avoid it. I had this idea of finding a soulmate, getting married, and having children sooner rather than later. The woman envisioned in this scenario is 'Eve', who is submissive yet never truly satisfies me (sexually). We may not have a super exciting life, but it is stable and wholesome. In the other reality, I'm a bad boy, party animal, starkly different than the person people have gotten to know me as. I've always liked to party but this guy is ALL about it. The women envisioned in this scenario are 'Lilith', they are wild and more dominant, embodying my (sexual) fantasies. Nothing is stable in that scenario and there is a lot of risk involved.

Going forward, I'm going to be vigilant towards limiting attitudes. A new phase is being ushered in. I bet a lot about me will remain the same, or even become more pronounced. But some parts of me are going to have to die, because they are no longer serving me in the new phase. Neverland is fun but the real world is here. This is a time to be all in. What an odd feeling of being between worlds. The next 15 years are going to be quite the ride and this is only the beginning...

Fantasy vs. Reality: Saturn approaches

Two things stuck out to me when my dad read my palm/birth chart: 1) you're gonna marry an Aries 2) you're gonna come out of your shell later in life, around 25. We never had any intimate conversations and even when I tried to talk to him about palmistry/astrology, he didn't say much. I treasure those words, regardless of their veracity. Now, I'm in a space where life is changing...things are starting to make sense. The pain of living in a fantasy is yielding to the pleasure of living in reality.

Saturn will return to its position in my natal chart in a little over 2 months. Having been born with Saturn conjunct Sun, almost exactly, I think this is a huge moment. I've been carrying around these expectations of life for so long and I'm finally beginning to understand how I will have to work to make them reality. That realization is in itself, liberating.

Responsibility, duty, accountability...these always had some dread attached to them. Now I understand, to be truly free, I have to embrace them. These are also terms that are attached to a goal or objective, so without one, it is hard to really understand what we're being responsible to. Consistency, diligence, these things go hand in hand. This is the blueprint for building something that lasts, strong enough to survive the winds of "gain" and "loss." The mission puts everything into perspective.

This is just the beginning. Wisdom isn't anesthesia for pain. Desire isn't enough. Whatever is in the window has a price, and whining won't pay the bill. Life is a fierce struggle, sometimes things come easy but it's better to plan for battle. New self has all these realizations but old self is clinging to the old way. Old self tells obvious lies about the changes in an effort to survive but it has to die for new self, the same way a snake has to shed old skin for new.

I've just gotten tired of lamenting the gap between fantasy and reality because I'm too lazy to build a bridge. Because I'm so desperate to give my power to everything but myself. Because I'm so anxious to wait for it. Because I'm too proud to partner with my emotions and feelings and insist on keeping a gulf of rationale between us. It's like I can't levitate until I acknowledge the law of gravity.

Work pays off. For a while, I held this in theoretical esteem and momentary contempt. Old self tries to hold me hostage with beautiful memories. Immobilizing me with the "greatness" of the past, as if moving forward will invalidate that. It won't. Revenge isn't necessary for progress. It isn't necessary to resolve the past and move forward. The past can be what it is, no need to create pain in the absence of its pleasures. And, I'm rising...

At the top is an image of Peitho, the goddess of persuasion, just because.

Blood Moon: Liberation

So, yesterday was crazy! I have been working this temp job where I've had to deal with a lot of side issues because of my (excellent) performance. A young, educated Black male amongst mostly older, not-as-educated white females (and co-workers in general). I'm not one to get into race politics but I can't deny my experience: this dynamic is troublesome. Anyways, not to sound elitist, but I didn't belong there...I was there because I haven't had the confidence and self-worth to go for what I want in life. I also haven't had a solid direction.

Anyways, last Friday there was a boil over. There was a revolt against the alphabet, order, and logic, which is insane considering we're working with files. I can't remember how it happened but three women ganged up on me to get me to believe that 1+1=3 and I was dumb for thinking it's 2. I was doing anywhere from 3-5 drawers a day, most of them were doing 1, maybe 2. They were literally telling me slow down. When I wouldn't listen, the social tectonic plates had shifted too much, and being the odd man out (literally), they resorted to base tactics.

Yesterday, there was an issue that perfectly illustrated my point. I asked my supervisors about it and they agreed (?). Then I asked my co-worker for the one odd file out in her drawer, so I could put it back in alphabetical order, and she began arguing with me. I told her to talk to the supervisor about it, and she agreed...with her. I got so mad, they didn't even matter anymore (in the sense that my anger wasn't directed at them). The anger was a physical sensation. I thought I was going to have a heart attack. I was done. At first, there was some fear, considering I don't have another job and that was the only day I worked this week. But at 1:30, I took the leap.

As I walked to my car, I shed the skin of fear. It was a moment from a movie. I drove home, and slowly felt this odd sense liberation. I had taken my life into my own hands. Sure, other people think the decision was crazy. But I'm not them. I'm me! Was my decision wrapped up in ego? Perhaps. The analysis isn't as important as the action. The action was positive. I feel more motivated than ever in life. Ever seen Dark Knight Rises? Not to spoil it, but there's a scene where he's trying to climb out of the underground prison. Everyone ties a rope to themselves, and when they fail, although its painful, they don't die. Bruce says he's not afraid and the doctor says that's the problem. Make the climb without the rope and fear will find you.

I came home and drank a little something to help me calm down. A girl I had been in limbo with was online and you know, drinking + Facebook. I was pretty emotional and upfront about how I don't think we're going to see each other anymore and I would rather have closure than limbo. And so it ended. The emotions didn't last too long beyond the conversation, amazingly. I had been dealing with the prospect for a while, assuming it was done. That pain, sadness, feeling of loss, turned into bliss. What was happening to me today??! Libra gave way to Aries.

I've always know how talented, intelligent and fierce I am but I wasn't living that way. My actions didn't reflect it. I was my own worst enemy. Leaving that job was my way of saying no more! Resolving things with the girl was my way of saying no more! I feel so good right now! I'm ready to go out and make something incredible happen. I've definitely changed and of course, am still growing.

Last year around this time, the blood moon was a crucial moment but it was full of fear and I didn't feel in control. I was fired. I was crushed. I was hopeful but felt helpless. This year, I crossed the threshold to liberate myself. True, it also felt 'beyond my control', as if decision was necessary. Here I am, on the other side. I have no regrets. This may be one of the best decisions I've made in my life so far!

October Predictions

September was crazy but more in the sense that I felt I never really had a resting moment. I worked one temp job then switched to another. A girl I had been seeing for months...its over? I don't like question marks but I don't like goodbyes either. There was a lot of tension in my new place, getting adjusted to my roommate/psuedo-landlords rules. I definitely experienced a turning point in terms of personal growth (started the 21st).

October is eerily quiet. The chill of decision is in the air...the crucial moment approaches. Uranus is retrograding away from my crazy Mars-ASC opp Moon axis, which is probably while I feel like I've caught my breath. But Mercury has goes retrograde today, and there are 2 eclipses, a lunar on the 8th and solar on the 23rd. Last month, I was too busy to face my fear of the unknown. Now, we're both in room together. The other girl I've been dating since August, she's leaving for a few months on the 22nd or 23rd, so I may have no lady friend for a while. I want to move before the end of month and so does my landlady! This temp job ends around the 24th I believe.

This is one of the biggest tests in my life and certainly a defining moment. Saturn returns in a couple months and I turn 29 next month. I know I deserve and embrace a better life of financial independence and abundant love. I have to head into the darkness of the unknown and make it happen. I don't even have the luxury of "is it possible?" I must win. What is the alternative? Be jobless, homeless, carless, and ladyless? No thanks. I have plenty of self-worth and know happiness isn't found in those things but let's be honest: no one wants to live like that. This isn't about intelligence or creativity, its about courage and discipline. See you on the other side!

Today, the Sun is trining Jupiter, and of course I have a day of celebration. This morning I have my monthly Buddhist meeting, then a potluck, then a birthday party, all in a row. Jupiter sextiles Mars and trines Moon until the 7th, so today is likely all that action. The energy and flow is right today! Great time for professional opportunities, if I can just find time to get away from the parties! I already have a place or 2 I'd like to apply in person.

From the 8th-13th, Jupiter trines Uranus, which means unexpected opportunities and "windfall" fortune. The 9th has Sun Opp Moon, Venus Trine Jupiter, and Mars trine Uranus. In all my experience, when that many transits are occurring within the same day, something significant materializes. That is a great day to take a chance. Also during this time: Sun conjunct Mars, Sun sextile Uranus, Venus Opp Moon, Venus conjunct Mars. So, these first 2 weeks are primetime.

The 8th is also the day of the Lunar Eclipse. Great for facing for my fears and liberating myself! After the 13th, there's no more "action" til the eclipse on the 23rd, which is a threshold moment. A transformation, a new beginning. One thing I've been learning is to let my emotions have their space without beating myself up, as if I've done something wrong and that's why I'm experiencing them. I'm learning to experience and feel the wisdom that arises naturally instead of trying to forcibly intellectualize them to escape the pain. The 23rd is also the anniversary of my father's death and the day my "last" love leaves. I will definitely be going through this alone, which I embrace.

The month ends with a conjunctions to Pluto from Venus and the Sun on the 29th and 29th. The theme of this month is definitely facing my fears, transformation and coming into my own power. Very Scorpio/Pluto. It's not too late! I will be rewarded on the basis of my efforts. I just need to take that first step into the unknown.

Uranus is STILL in my 7th house

I don't know how long it will last but I'm giving up on dating. Correction: I'm giving up on the way I was approaching dating. I love women too much to take some celibate vow out of frustration. I have seen the powerful energy of a transpersonal planet manifested and it can't be ignored. Astrology is a language to make more sense of these major life sequences...they would be happening whether I tuned in or not. How many times have I said this? Sometimes the simplest truths are the hardest to accept.

A major lesson I'm learning is to deal with reality, not superimpose my fantastic conception on women. This takes time...I think it's called 'getting to know someone'. Too many times, I've 'filled in the blanks' and rushed into situations, only to face a harsh reality check. I realized a pattern I had with all my girlfriends: they all seemed to have a promiscuous history, and I wanted to slow them down. Only 1 girlfriend wasn't that way, but on the whole, that was my pattern. Of course, Uranus comes to get rid of limiting patterns.

I've been wanting a long-term relationship but my failed attempts have forced me to consider why. I'm sure Saturn is at work here too...it is separating from a conjunction to my Venus and is a few months away from a return. My narrow view of relationships is being challenged and forcing me out of my comfort zone. At times, I have looked at so many couples, with a good deal of envy...wishing Uranus wasn't in my 7th house right now. But this is what I'm going through, and accepting that is important.

From The Awakening : "To the Greeks, the planet Uranus was Ouranos, the god of the Heavens. Uranus rules over freedom and the expansion of awareness. And it will do whatever it takes to obtain this, even if it means shattering the status quo. As the ‘great awakener,’ its attempts to liberate us are often unpredictable, unconventional and even shocking."

I'm learning that just because a connection or relationship is brief, doesn't mean it can't be important. I'm learning to control my sexual energy, not be at its mercy. I'm learning not to take it personal when women aren't interested. I'm learning to form partnership, instead of ownership. I'm discovering new turn-ons and becoming attracted to a wider range of body types. I'm learning to feel the undeniable electricity of a connection, instead of guessing. I'm learning to enjoy the freedom of non-exclusive relationships more than the anxiety and jealousy that come with it. I'm learning not to limit myself in what type of partner I attract and have more confidence in my attractiveness. I'm learning that I can't have them all and becoming more comfortable with being aroused without taking action. I'm learning that desire isn't enough, there is a timing in all things.

I had typed up all my predictions for September like I normally do, but have decided to do a "blind month". I'm going to come back when the month is over and see how things played out.

Synastry Case Study #1

I've probably said it before but I think synastry is one of the most fascinating aspects of astrology. There are many questions we want the stars to assist us with but I would bet love tops the list. I have been interested in this from the beginning pretty much. There is a lot to say about synastry but I want to start with this: I truly believe you need some experience with the person you're involved with to really benefit from a comparison. Sun signs can be a great initial indicator but there are a lot of other factors that need to play out. For example, if I do an early comparison and see Mars Conjunct Venus, that supports a great relationship but how it plays out depends upon each person.

I have been dating this beautiful woman for almost 3 months now, and after comparing our charts today, I could see some things clearly and others I may have more questions about. I had initially done a rough comparison around our first date. Too early, and I was wise to not really go into detail. I just knew she was Gemini and that usually resulted in an intensely physical, unstable/sporadic/short-lived union for me (Sagittarius) in the past.

Before I start, it occurred to me how important it is to recognize what we ask from synastry. At first, my question was: are we a good match? But really, I wanted to know: is she the one? Which translates to: I want to know the future. The truth is, no matter how good (or bad) a comparison looks, it doesn't spare you the pain of breaking up, should that happen. If you're a bad/challenging match with someone and are together for a year and you break up, are you gonna say "well, we weren't that good of a match anyway, so whatever."? I doubt it. The closest I get to divination is transits and likelihood, so all I can realistically hope for is some reassurance/support, possible actions to take or things to discuss, and to learn more about astrology.

And on the subject of realistic expectations, let's start with Saturn. My Venus conjuncts her Saturn within 5 degrees, which means, she is likely to be the sobering one. This can be interpreted as an indicator of long-term commitment/relationship, which makes sense. At the moment, we are not exclusive and are both still dating other people. We had a "talk" about a month ago, because she wanted clarity (so did I) around what I was looking for, feeling I was working towards boyfriend/girlfriend. I was flexible and we ended with a more casual/friends-with-benefits scenario.

As a result, I've had this relationship with her where I'm out of my comfort zone, which is supported by a wide (5 degrees) North Node conjunct Venus. I deal with feelings of jealousy and inadequacy, and see her as secretive--my fear being there's some other guy or guys she likes more than me. I am painfully aware that its my ego, yet there is an air of mistrust (Neptune Conjunct Sun, within 3 degrees). That can also be a sign of unrealistic expectations.

North Node/South Node axis is seen as karmic, with NN being our lesson to learn and SN being what we need to let go of. My North Node conjuncting her Venus, in light of my Venus conjuncting her Saturn, can be interpreted as me learning from her/our relationship. This is definitely true, especially regarding sex...I got back into Tantric sexual practice and am deepening my sensuality. But my Venus is conjuncting her SN (opposing NN), which would mean she is more likely to "outgrow" our relationship, feeling like there is nothing left to learn. I've read this can be an indication of star-crossed lovers who aren't meant to be together this lifetime but in the future. I do believe in reincarnation but that has a ring of fatalism to it.

What is clear is that we have undeniable, explosive sexual chemistry and physical attraction (at least on my end!). My Mars trines her Jupiter within 0 degrees...I can't get enough of her and she responds well to my passion. I would say its the most passionate relationship I've ever been involved in. Venus opposition Venus is also very physically stimulating, although we approach relationships differently and may have very different social lives. I'm a believer in the physicality of oppositions, as Gemini's have been the sign I've hooked up with most. But this is the longest I've ever been physical with one. All the others were always random occasions but usually more than once.

My Vertex is conjunct her Venus by less than a degree, which suggests a powerful connection where I see her as my ideal woman and that separating will be difficult. Just to reinforce that physical attraction is my Sun conjuncting her Ascendant by less than a degree as well. Sun trining her Moon, by less than degree, is a major compatibility factor as well.

There are a few other aspects but I see a theme already: magnetic physical attraction. This is no ordinary encounter. As far as timing, Saturn is just separating (conjunct) my Venus and her Saturn is returning. I believe things will become clearer to the both of us over the next few months. I have a feeling the solar and lunar eclipse in October, with all the Scorpio energy, will be decisive if we make it that far. Mars makes some significant transits to her chart in October as well, which could represent another man. This weekend is the last hard outer planet aspect to my sun/moon midpoint and I'm glad it's Jupiter. Beyond the physical attraction and affection, it's a wild card.

Where to go from here? Well, I just started dating another woman earlier this month. We are actually extremely astrologically compatible for a lasting union but only time will tell if she becomes a 'case study'. I seemed to have a lot of women interests earlier this month but it has calmed down considerably, basically to these two. I will try to communicate with her more, (we have a date this weekend) but I'm afraid to know what she's thinking. I have these feelings actually beginning to develop for her that make me want to bond deeper but I don't know how she feels about that level of emotional intimacy with someone she "doesn't see a long-term future with." Stay tuned...

When Jupiter Gets Greedy...

I love being a Sage. There is no other sign I would rather be. I have always been enamored with the description, even the "bad" or negative traits. Too much alcohol? That's not the worst thing in the world! Too many women? That's great! Too much food? Food is delicious! This has typically been my attitude. Ruled by Jupiter, the main function is expansion, which can be great, until its too much. At some point, discipline is needed. And I now see how my greatest strength can also be my greatest weakness.

Lately, I've been dating a good number of women. One, I've been seeing steadily, but its more of a friends with benefits. Actually, its better than that because the benefits are really good. Another, I just met Friday, which was a day I saw transits converging to signal a hook up. What's freaky is that our chart is filled with conjunctions and trines with planets that signal marriage/fated union/long-term relationship. I don't know what's going to happen with her, but it looks promising.

Now that would've been plenty but I'm meeting with a girl tomorrow who has been pretty upfront and seems very interested. She seems great too...ok, now its kinda weird. I thought this is what I wanted but I know or don't want to possibly have 3 women I'm involved with. Oh yeah? Let's add I have a date on Friday with a girl that seems promising as well. And she's gorgeous. Model gorgeous. She used to be a model. I feel like I'm running out of space emotionally/physically/spiritually/mentally. Wait, there's a woman planning to come meet me later this month I hooked up with months ago.

Be careful what you wish for, right? Now I'm wondering what's gonna happen later this month, when Jupiter conjuncts my midpoint. I don't really know what I want. I want a relationship but now, more than ever, I feel like I would be "giving up" a lot to be in one (a monogamous, committed relationship). I'm learning so much...maybe I should stay single. I just doubt that I could date 4 women at once.

Where to go from here? I feel like I have nothing to lose. If it all was gone tomorrow, the crash would suck, but I'm sure that space would be valuable and a lesson would've been learned. The next 2 months hold even more Jupiter transits. At this point, I'm just gonna roll with it. Things will sort themselves out, I believe.

I definitely make the connection with how being too greedy can backfire. A little patience and discipline goes a long way. My new mantra should be: just because it's good doesn't mean I need it all. The dark side of this can be a scarcity mentality, like I need it all because I'm afraid of running out. Instead, I will focus on life's abundance. Can't forget to till the earth though...seeds still need to be planted and tended to bear fruit.

August Predictions

And I thought last month was all about romance! This month has 2 Jupiter transits, each with a bundle of yin-yang harmony. The king of the gods comes bearing gifts during a 4 month (which is ironic, as the number 4 is similar to the glyph for Jupiter), and typically I associate structure and practicality with that number but my book mentions opportunistic as well. There's a lot more activity transit-wise, with several planets in Leo. Leo rules romance, by the way.

I'm really looking for work and steady income. Romance is great but what I've realized my need to focus on advancing in my life. Learning to value myself more, whether someone corroborates my worth or not. I feel I've used women/relationships to validate my direction in life. Time to take back my compass. It's really the perfect time, since harmony is rampant this month.

Looking toward the future, Jupiter is really active for me in September and October as well. December it goes retrograde, and I get another run from February to June 2015 (ends in August). This is a time that comes around about every 12 years. Last time, I was 16 and it was August-November 2002. I moved from Michigan back to Massachusetts, back to my former high school. Nothing particularly stands out during that time. Next time Jupiter is in Leo, I'll be 40.

Saturn Conjunct Venus
I've been learning a lot regarding art and relationships, really trying to make something tangible of it. With Jupiter in Leo now, there's bound to be opportunities for both. Although, as far as relationships, it is probably best not to seek something long-term at this time. There is so much learning being done, I'm going to try and be patient.

Uranus Conjunct Moon, Opposite ASC
Last month, I was experiencing everything mainly through one girl, romantically. I also had an issue with a roommate, who has since moved out. I feel this month will involve more women and be less frustrating, since I don't feel as focused on trying to build a long-term relationship. I have been thinking about moving, and what's interesting is that last time Jupiter was Leo, I did move.

8/1 Mercury Trine Sun, Saturn (5)
Clear headed, excellent time to communicate and organize. Good for studying/learning as well.

8/2 Venus Trine Venus (6)
Smooth sailing. Relaxed. Attracting favorable circumstances, money even. Lucky. Strong desire to surround myself with beauty and participate in creative activity.

8/4 Sun Opposition Jupiter (8)
Feeling good, feeling great, how are you? High optimism and confidence, careful not to overextend or overindulge. What is coming to a head? I don't know but its a Monday and I need a job!

8/5 Mars Conjunct Pluto (9)
Strong ambition and ego drive, today is all about power. Be careful, this energy can be explosive and violent. If any day is conducive to conflict, it is this one. However, this energy can also be very productive for doing heavy work or making changes.

8/6 Sun Trine Mercury (1)
Excellent communication and understanding. Great day to learn/study and travel. Clarity of thought

8/6 Mercury Opposite Jupiter (1)
Grand schemes, careful not to overlook the details.

8/7 Mercury Trine Mercury (2)
Make plans, communicate, travel.

8/8-12 Jupiter Square Pluto (3-7)
Jupiter really wants to party this month! This transit is all about power, and can be a great opportunity to make a leap forward, as long as I don't overextend myself or become too fanatical/obsessive about whatever I'm trying to achieve. I'll try to remember: don't push it, don't overdo it. This is actually one of my natal aspects. I have some harmonious influences on the 8th, which should temper this energy nicely. Also, my friends are playing a show this day and I am highly likely to perform with them on stage.

8/8 Sun Trine Moon (3)
Peace, harmony, balance. Great time for relating to opposite sex and making any changes or important decisions.
 

8/8 Mercury Trine Moon, Sextile Mars (3)
Harmony of mind and emotion. Opportune day for communication with women. May be a very busy day. Willing to defend my ideas
 

8/9 Sun Sextile Mars, Sextile ASC (4)
High-energy, assertive, good day to be physically active. Great for being social and working with others.

8/9 Mercury Square Venus, Trine Uranus (4)
Not the best for communications with women. Poor mental discipline. Quick mind, wanting something new, unconventional and exciting.

8/10 Sun Square Venus, Trine Uranus (5)
Time for something new! Seeking pleasure and beauty, feeling affectionate.

8/12-13 Venus Trine Sun, Saturn (7-8)
Pleasant. Great day to enjoy myself and relax. Creativity runs high. Practical, tangible, or material expression of Venus.

8/16 Mercury Square Sun, Saturn (2)
Busy day, may have disagreements with authority figures. Way of thinking may be tested. Critical mindset but very practical.

8/17 Mercury Trine Neptune (3)
Imagination is stimulated. Careful not to daydream or fantasize too much. Great for discussing creative or spiritual matters.

8/18 Mercury Sextile Pluto (4)
Curious, investigative mind. Searching motives of everyone.

8/21 Venus Opposition Jupiter (7)
Careful not to overdo it. Strong desire to indulge. Discipline would be wise.

8/22-27 Jupiter Conjunct Sun/Moon midpoint (8-4)
The "lucky" planet comes to visit, bringing a bunch of transits to the party. Sun/Moon midpoint represents harmony, the integration of yin and yang, male and female. It is said that when an outer planet makes a hard aspect to this point, it signifies the beginning or development of a new relationship. The 25th and 26th see Mars Conjunct Venus and Venus Sextile Mars, which both mirror harmony. With 5 transits involving Venus in 2 days, something is bound to manifest. Monday and Tuesday don't scream sexy like a Friday or Saturday and I have no plans but who knows?

8/23 Venus Trine Mercury (9)
Pleasant thoughts and communication. Great day to profess my love/feelings/affection for someone or take a trip.

8/24 Sun Square Sun, Saturn (1)
Crisis! Challenge to complete whatever I've been working on. May clash with others, especially authority/figures. Responsibility weighs heavy...duty vs. self-gratification. Discipline is crucial.

8/25 Mercury Sextile Venus, Square Uranus (2)
Mind may be moving too fast to really keep up with. Leisurely conversation, concerned with beauty, relationships, women. Likely to help incite/facilitate the other concurrent transits

8/25-26 Mars Conjunct Venus (2-3)
Sexually energized. Mars is all about action and expression, so it wants to express Venus. Great day for active expressions of Venus...especially relationships with the opposite sex and performing arts. Traditionally signifies the beginning of a new relationship.

8/25 Venus Trine Moon (2)
Relationships with women are favored, especially sexual ones. Pleasant emotions, desire for beautiful surroundings.

8/25-26 Venus Sextile Mars, ASC (2-3)
Great for attracting the opposite sex. Opportunities creatively and financially. Lighthearted, great for socializing. Signals beginning of a new relationship, especially in conjunction with supportive transits.

8/26 Venus Trine Uranus (3)
Something different and unexpected is desired. Sudden or exciting love affair.

8/26 Sun Trine Neptune (3)
High idealism, spirituality, intuition and romanticism. Careful not to get too carried away or swept up by your fantasies and daydreams.

8/29 Sun Sextile Pluto (6)
Excellent opportunity to confront any issues I'm unhappy with and make changes.

Uranus Conjunct Moon: Part 3 (Choices)

Frustration...it's all a part of this transit. Uranus wants to disrupt limiting and destructive patterns so I can move forward. I have to remind myself, as much as Uranus is "trickster" it wants to update me...because my old software isn't with it. It's like a virus that crashes the old OS to the point you need to install a new one. Sucks that I have a virus but I can either complain or do something about it. And I really have to DO something about it.

I have been a bit lady obsessed lately and need to stop to assess why. What is it that I'm looking for? A relationship? Why? With so much upheaval, it is likely stability. The problem is that, examining my attitude, I am shifting this responsibility totally to external forces. Looking for the relationship, the woman, to give me stability. As if my own turmoil will be eclipsed by her serenity. It is I with the Uranus conjunct Moon, not her.

Vacillating between wanting marriage and children, to contemplating (relative) abstinence from any romantic involvement with women, I wrestle. Neither "extreme" is a solution. I am almost done with the second pass and have another in 2015. I need to think about my future, which I have a tendency to bind or make contingent upon the girl I'm seeing. When it seems I have no prospects, I'm ready to pack up and move. When I have plenty of attention, I want to stick around. Hmmm....

The Moon rules women, the home, emotions, routine, and all of them seem to be in chaos. It has been difficult to make a choice and the choices I've made have been difficult to stick to. Maybe I haven't really made a change in the choices I make, which is why the chaos is still rampant. Am I looking for too much control at a time when I need to allow things to happen a bit more organically? Amidst all this turbulence and confusion, the desire to understand grows stronger.

Take the girl I had been dating, for example. At first, I wanted a relationship. As time went on, I changed my mind but was unsure. I started talking to other people I was interested in but was still open to an exclusive relationship. The other day, we had a talk, and decided to be friends with benefits. I am confused because I am okay with it...in other words, I feel like I should be upset and perhaps jealous she is dating other men. But why? That attitude is so focused on her and not me.

I am beginning to think two things are happening: one, I am learning to be in tune and honest with what I want right now (emotionally) and two, I am learning how to relate to the opposite sex. Part of relating to the opposite sex I feel, is learning to appropriately emotionally invest. There are a lot of beautiful women I will meet, who are unavailable for a number of reasons. Maybe she's a lesbian/not interested in men, maybe she's already in a relationship, maybe she just doesn't like me. Hell, we may even go on a date and it doesn't work out. As I was writing this, I realized my history of reacting to unavailable women has not been healthy. I usually have gotten so caught up in the fact that I can't "have" her, that it dampened any future (platonic) relationship. In other words, I attached resentment to that person. Blame it on Venus in Scorpio

I tend to find a lot of women attractive, so I need to find a way to deal with my feelings without jeopardizing my career, friendships, etc. I need to learn to value myself more as well. Uranus is also a planet of individuality. I have definitely sacrificed my individuality out of fear of being misunderstood, but change...the future, can be difficult to understand at first. Another question I have is: what is to stay and what is to go? For this, I need to take inventory of the past year or two, really considering what has worked and what hasn't. I will search for attitudes I've been reluctant to give up, despite their failure.

What is a successful relationship? This is a question I asked a co-worker around the time I began this blog. I wondered if a relationship had to end in marriage and children in order to be a success. I have always wanted to possess my lovers beyond our time together, even though it has usually been I who wanted to end it. But I can't have it both ways. While I doubt I will be able to change the intensity of my desire, I can certainly change my expectations. Success can come to mean growth and the ability to understand where to direct my affection. I can learn to master this energy instead of giving it a pass to wreak havoc because "that's just the way I am."

July Predictions

Last month had a lot of oppositions and seemed rather hectic. This month is dominated by trines and carries 3 energy, which points to harmony, creativity, and good fortune. My numerology book states: "July is a breakthrough, a time to enjoy life." The above painting, titled The Swing, really sets the tone for me. Lighthearted, romantic and idyllic. I am dating a girl I very much hope becomes my girlfriend. Still no job but I do have my first professional acting gig in a few weeks! It is summer and nature is in the throes of passion. Let's have some fun!

7/3-4 Venus Trine Jupiter
Lazy, indulgent and lucky? I'll take it. July 4th, I mean, its a holiday. Makes sense. Show me the money!

7/9-10 Sun Trine Venus
Venus is energized by the Sun, to create a harmonious sense of self. Great day for any artistic and romantic endeavor.

7/9-10 Sun Square Mars, Moon
High energy, frustration, and conflict. Things come to a head. Could be an explosion, considering the Uranus transit. What sort of explosion? Could be with authority.

7/17-25 Jupiter Trine Sun, Saturn
A star is born. I hit the stage and become larger than life. Not bad.

7/18 Mercury Trine Pluto
A day of profound insight, perhaps even obsessive thoughts. Reminiscing over the past?

7/23 Sun Trine Sun, Saturn
A day of power, recognition and reward. I think I have a show this day. This is a day where I know myself, and have control and discipline.

7/23 Venus Trine Pluto
Obsession, lust, intensity. Sun will be entering Leo and it is an 8 day. A day all about feeling and physical expression.

7/24-25 Mercury Square Mars, Moon
Hesitations about my path...a conflict between my mind and heart. A decision leading to a new beginning.

7/25-26 Mercury Trine Venus
Pleasant thoughts and beautiful places. Great day for being social and having discussion.

7/30-31 Mars Sextile Neptune
Great day for spirituality and reflecting on my life, especially this month.

Juno Reactor

Astrology is like a puzzle you can never truly solve, which is why I love it. There is always something to explore and it imbues your life with this...richness. For example, whole sign houses were a revelation that made a lot of sense for me. Usually, I don't look at any bodies beyond Pluto (in my chart) but I ran across some interesting things about Juno.

Magi Society says: "When it comes to sex, there is no planet or asteroid as potent as Juno.  Juno is the most sexual of the planets and is even more sexual than Venus, Mars or Pluto.[...]It is Juno, and not Venus, Mars or Pluto, that is the primary ruler of sexual attraction and desire. Juno rules sex appeal and sexual charisma." 

This is in contrast to AstroLady: "In the natal chart, the house and sign placement of our natal Juno reveals the kind of person we are meant to marry. While Venus and Mars represent our ideal mate, Juno represents loyalty and attachment. Juno represents what we need in a mate, rather than simply who we are attracted to. Many astrologers have gone as far as to say Juno represents our true love or marriage partner."

Cosmitec sheds more light: "According to Martha Lang-Wescott, Juno represents what goes awry and Juno tests the level of commitment and attitude toward fidelity and marriage. Perhaps, that's why according the Magi Society (a School in astrology) Juno is a sexual "planet" and is symbolic of the mistress, sex without commitment and the one-night stand."

Elsa Elsa says: "A Juno match is one where you see your ideal counterpart to balance your committed nature, but this can also bring out your seriously dysfunctional issues when thwarted in the relationship. If you can stand apart, you can see how this can be ultimately growth-producing."

NeptuneCafe says: "Juno in particular is about the committed relationship between two individuals, generally a man and a woman. Venus is better defined as the love goddess, the ruler of the attraction between the sexes. She inspires people to make love, but is not interested in the business side of relationship, or getting married to have children. Venus inspires an appreciation for beauty and sex; Juno inspires the creation of a stable partnership, a long-term, committed relationship."

Always Astrology: "She has some similarities to Venus, but while Venus sparks that initial attraction, Juno makes the commitment. She sings of soul mates.[...]Where you find Juno in your chart is where you may meet someone that you will remain with for a long relationship."

Cafe Astrology: "Juno represents commitment, marriage, betrayal, give and take in partnerships, partnership itself, infidelity, fairness, and compromise. Juno is enraged with inequalities and shows us where we seek to make things balanced, fair, and right."

It would appear that commitment is the central issue with Juno, which makes sense (Juno or Hera is the wife of Jupiter/Zeus, who is notorious for extramarital affairs). She represents the ideal partner for long-term commitment. I don't know where/how/why Magi Society places such a sexual emphasis on Juno, especially considering her mythology. Sexual agreement is a crucial element of any long-term relationship, but I can't see much of a connection beyond that.

My Juno is conjunct Venus by less than a degree and being a Libra rising, this is something significant to delve into. I am also a Sagittarius, and commitment has been a big issue for me, infidelity or not. I see Juno as another clue in the soulmate mystery, because Scorpio accepts nothing less than a soulmate. So how does Juno add to the conversation?

It reinforces the importance of Venusian values, such as art, sex, material possessions, and anything that really indulges the senses. Compromise is important...someone who dominates and yields. This is all through the lens of Scorpio, so there needs to be intensity and a sense that she is all in for me. A kind of mutual obsessiveness. I want to feel and know she's all mine, that she needs me. Yet, we need to be able to continually evolve and renew ourselves as people. I often overlook the transformational needs of Scorpio, and a relationship that grows stagnant is on its way to being abandoned.

I think that this is where the extramarital affair/infidelity piece comes into play: if the relationship isn't satisfying those Juno needs, you begin to seek satisfaction outside the relationship (like Jupiter). Of course, this responsibility doesn't fall solely on one person. How well are we aware of our needs/desires? The degree to which we understand ourselves is an important factor in finding a great match. 


Getting back to my chart, since Scorpio rules my 2nd house, money/shared resources is going to be an issue. My 2 longest relationships, she was paying for everything. Not something I am proud of but interesting to note. My credit is terrible at the moment, so if I were to get married, it would certainly be part of the discussion. I predict, either she's rich and is going to fix my credit or it is going to be a huge obstacle that drives us apart. If Juno is about balance and rectifying inequality, that makes a lot of sense.

In the end, I am more partial to Elsa Elsa and Cafe Astrology's description of Juno. Long-term relationships aren't pure bliss, there is work to be done and compromises to be made. You have to be committed to the commitment! Venus tells us about initial attraction and bonding, Juno informs us of how we sustain that attraction/bond.

June Predictions

Let me articulate some of my recent realizations in the simplest form. Don't give away your power to people! Stop superimposing or comparing your life to some idealized path and work with that is! Don't give away your power to regret and self-pity, it poisons the present!

I've stopped participating/investing in social media to the degree I was before. Twitter? Gone. Facebook? Still on but way less involved. No more newsfeed quicksand, just a quick check for birthdays and event invites. I don't want to use my psychic energy to prod in everyone's life. I'm focusing on my life. It's only been a few days, but my mind feels clearer already.

Makes sense, that in a 1 month (May), individuality came to the forefront. I recognize lots of things I need to work on, and it's energizing! I'm coming to my own side, not so divided and confused. Embracing a self-worth beyond current circumstances. My path is my path. I'm still here. And it's time for me to win!

Now, coming to the 2 month, cooperation comes to the forefront. The nervous, tense energy of last month tempers and cools. Mars has gone direct but it is a very Venusian time. Mercury goes retrograde and words fail, emphasizing the importance of action. Venus is in Taurus, Saturn (a very tangible planet) is conjuncting Venus, I get a very physical sense from June. Scorpio/Pluto/8th house energy is activated, which always means depth. Also, school will be letting out and there are 2 women I've spoken with who swear they'll have more time then.

If I were to sum June: opposites attract. It is basically a composite of 2 energy and oppositions. Most of the activity takes place within the first 2 weeks. Looking ahead, July is a quiet month. It looks like more of a 'personal' month...reflections, creativity, moods/feelings. This is more of a time to work with others to really create something tangible.

Saturn Conjunct Venus
I wanna get married and have children. Not immediately, but I'm on that level. All the women I've been dating are older by a couple years..or a decade and a half. No matter what I choose, I see it more clearly. I feel very confident dating and all the experience (so far) is crystallized wisdom. Commitment...my body is ready. Oh, I also wanna make a lot of money. Practicality is winning over passion right now.

Uranus Conjunct Moon 
I recognize what time it is. Nothing is a sure go, especially when it comes to romance. It's pretty crazy. I haven't been able to get anything steady going. Looking at all the oppositions and the upcoming Mercury Rx, I imagine things will get even more hectic, chaotic, and frustrating. I'm not gonna complain though. I'm coming to terms with the fact I can walk and chew gum at the same time. So, while a long-term relationship is optimal, short-term relationships may be the soup du jour.

Uranus Opposition Mars, ASC
My Libraness is dissolving into Ariesness! More and more, I'm seeing conflict as valuable to peace building. I'm valuing getting out there and doing it! Not just thinking and talking about it. I'm not allowing how I think people see me to dictate my actions.

Mercury Retrograde
I don't even know what to say for this anymore, except be careful. "Look before you leap."

6/2 Sun Trine Jupiter (4)
Opportunism, optimism and practicality! This is a Monday where I go all out and set the tone for the rest of the week. A lot can be accomplished on a day like this. Expand the infrastructure and launch a new company!

6/3 Venus Opposition Pluto (5)
Opposites attract as Venus and Pluto have tension. 5 energy makes this explode...on a Tuesday?! My 8th house is ruled by Taurus, where Venus will be passing through. I get a very physical sense, even more than I usually attribute to Venus-Pluto transits (which are conducive to lust). The Moon will be in Leo...hmmm, my ex will probably be contacting me. I've been in contact with so many women, it could be any one of them.


6/4 Sun Opposition Mercury (6)
This is interesting, knowing the retrograde is just days away. Someone challenging my views perhaps? As long as I don't talk too much, I'm fine. A great day to be receptive and creative.

6/6 Venus Conjunct North Node (8)
Fated relationship? Nodes are really connected to the moon, which is all about security. Wanting marriage and all, it is easy to see where this could go. This begins an energy ramp for the weekend.

6/7 Sun Trine ASC, Mars (9)
A lot of energy and larger than life personality! A feeling of accomplishment for a week of hard work. I'm definitely going extra hard with this is mind. Ego drives are strong.There is a harmony, a completion.

6/8 Sun Opposition Uranus (1)
A day of surprises. Exploding energy and individuality. The energy from Saturday really comes to a climax.

6/8 Venus Square Jupiter (1)
Talk about super Sunday! Squares always indicate a challenge to productively use elements that aren't in agreement. However, Venus transits are soft by nature and the only real danger is here is overindulging, whether it be women/sex, food, or drink. Energy will be high, so it will be important to not get carried away.
 

6/8-11 Mars Trine Jupiter (1-4)
What a way to start the week! So much energy from the weekend propelling me forward. The 1 energy too? This is a special time, very opportune for anything....wait for it...physical! Just a lucky, optimistic, energetic time. The 10th will be an optimal time for creating. To top things off, Mercury goes Rx on the 8th.


6/10 Neptune goes Rx (3)
3+Neptune=creativity? Just my impression, which looks corroborated by my peers. Heightened sensitivity/awareness and a need to face any areas of life I have been "escaping". A time to lay off the drinking. Neptune will be heading back towards Pluto, emphasizing that need to confront what I may have thrown to the underworld. With all the physical energy running about, this transit is great for turning raw inspiration to tangible work.


6/13 Venus Opposition Venus (6)
Another Venus opposition. It's going to be a physical month! However, 6 is emphasizing the domestic element and Venus-Venus transits are very soft, so it won't have the carnal energy of Venus-Pluto. Friday (the 13th oooh) and the weekend will be beginning. I see myself wanting to relax after the burst of energy earlier in the week.


6/24 Venus Opposition Sun, Saturn (8)
Moon is in my 8th house. Looks like a physical day as well. Give and take, not so quick to retreat, and I will be rewarded.

6/25-27 Mars Conjunct Mars (9-2)
High energy, mirroring the Mars transit a few weeks earlier. This is a major launching point, as there are really no more "big" Mars transits until September. This is the most physical transit of all, great time to start that exercise regimen collecting cobwebs.

6/26 Sun Trine Pluto (1)
Power. Explodes the Mars transit.

Searching...

Apollo wants Daphne and just as he almost has her, she cries out to her father, who transforms her into a tree. Almost! Of course, there's a lot more to that story but I see myself in Apollo's role, sort of.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm searching for Spock out here! Holding onto hope that each planet is just one closer to my goal, I continue to enterprise. How do I make sense of it all? I think this is a basic question astrologers entertain and contemplate daily. It is a quintessential quandary for all mankind that we answer using the language of astrology, no matter how large or small our universe at the moment.

As I begin to confront the reality of choosing a path, my approach to love and relationships takes on a new significance. It feels as if I can't afford to vacillate, "choose it or lose it." One such issue is children. If I want to have 3-5 children, as I have often considered, then at 28, it is time to get started. If I want to only have 1 or 2, more time can be afforded. The issue of children becomes a central issue within itself...is this woman open to having to children, vehemently opposed, or ready to have one tomorrow? Things change and I don't want to overthink but the reality is that it is a serious consideration, at least it feels this way now.

I have thought about astrological compatibility since I first began dabbling with the subject. I have had the privilege of dating almost every sign, so that I have actual experiential impressions to project with. One point of interest has been the role of cusps, as I have had longer relationships with women born on a cusp. Another has been modality, since I've noticed more compatibility with Fixed signs. Some quick stats: 1st* girlfriend Nov. 21 (Scorpio) 3 years, 2nd girlfriend Aug. 22 (Leo) 3 years, last girlfriend Apr. 21 (Taurus) 3 months. I know 3 months isn't as long as 3 years but I'm only 28 and have only had so many girlfriends (lots and lots of dates though).

Constantly in motion, I believe Fixed signs provide the respite to sustain the immense and often scattered energy I put out. Other Mutable signs create a volatile combination that isn't sustainable and all too familiar. Cardinal signs, hmmm. I seem to get annoyed or tired out by them. Just want to reiterate, this is all in a romantic context. I don't want all the Mutable and Cardinal signs coming for my head!

I have 2 dates today, a Scorpio (non-cusp) and an Aries (cusp). It is my second date with the Scorpio, who is a very nice woman. 30, no kids, schoolteacher, a classic beauty. With Scorpios, I never notice an outright spark...it is more of a slow burn. We had tea and took a short walk, no make out sessions. I had a very sexually intense relationship with my Scorpio girlfriend but it took time, lots of trust. Nothing happens quickly with Scorpio, and it always feels very deliberate.

I think this Aries is going to cancel but we'll see. On paper, she seems great. I find her attractive (she was actually my nurse last year!) and we have a pretty fun interaction. I looked at our charts and we're super compatible but that has happened many times before and gone nowhere.

My energy has been wild. Some days, it is very masculine, aggressive, and intense (like last Friday). Others, very still and passive. Today, I feel calmer but that could all change when Uranus is visiting. It is a 1 day, with Venus Trining natal Uranus, which spells newness and excitement seeking. It would be quite exciting to know after today, that I am involved in a relationship that will last longer than 2 dates! Short relationships have been the norm lately

*I had 2 girlfriends before her. My 1st was a Capricorn but I was young and it only lasted a few weeks. My *realer" 1st was a Sagittarius and we had a 3-month long-distance relationship when I was in college. We lost our virginity together and I (we?) was very much in love.

Saturn Approaches: The Fork in the Road

Gone are the days of "good" and "bad" people. Actually, it's less about "people" and more about me. I can no longer delude myself by counting another's wealth and thinking I'm rich. I see 2 paths, clear as daylight and it is time to choose.

I was writing descriptions of the 2 paths but it doesn't matter. That is my own internal struggle. What does matter is the awareness. I think major transits ask questions, whether we understand the language or not. Makes sense why Dane Rudhyar said 'Events don't happen to people, people happen to events," because it is up to us to answer.

For me (lately), there is some responsibility and either someone invites me to party or I invite myself to party. I have to decide how seriously to take my obligations. Yes, I can prep last minute and do a fine job in the morning. But I could also get a full nights rest and set myself up a lot better. Just because you should, doesn't mean you should.

Nowhere have things become more starkly apparent, than my romantic life. I think beyond the relationship itself, considering its impact. It's not just about playing house, its about my mission. I'm asking myself, why do I want to get married? Why do I want to have children? Not simply going along with it because that's what grown-ups do. My mission on this earth, my path, is deciding what relationships I form, not the other way around.

I have Saturn Conjuncting Venus right now, and my aesthetic values have begun to sharpen and crystallize. Above is a sculpture by Gian Lorenzo Bernini, a fellow Sagittarian, and I love all of his work. The image at the top is L'Estasi di Santa Teresa, one of Bernini's masterpieces. I also like Leonid Afremov's oil paintings...all of them. Jupiter is also trining Venus, which would explain the expansion into fine art.

This "fork" effect could also be the result of both Saturn and Jupiter acting on Venus at the same time. Saturn is saying be conservative, Jupiter is saying turn up! I had a similar concurrence last year, except I don't remember feeling so dramatic. A big difference is that both of these are on their "3rd pass:" they were forward, then went retrograde, and now are moving forward for good. The familiarity elucidates the pattern, carving the "path" all the more clearer. I am also only 7 months from Saturn returning, so there is an added sense of gravity.

Will I experience some profound ecstasy a la Saint Teresa? Uranus is asking me about a new pattern as well. What else can I say but stay tuned!

May Predictions

This is a critical month! Unemployment has run out and I need to get working ASAP. Venus energy is running high. Uranus energy is running high. 1 months are all about independence, assertiveness, and new beginnings AKA everything Aries. Mars finally goes direct in the latter part of the month. The weather is warmer. Love is in the air and the students are leaving town. Things get intense from the middle to latter part of the month.

If I were to translate this month to a phrase: Lots of unexpected opportunities and conflicts with women, which results in a new structure. I want to begin a new career and relationship. I'm ready!

Jupiter Trine Venus
Been eating and drinking a lot more lately. Have been more creative and extravagant with spending. "I just wanna party." I want this to translate positive monetarily/career wise!

Uranus Trine Mercury (separating)
May travel more than usual. My love for "rare" words/vocabulary has been sparked. Been playing with language a lot more lately.

Uranus Conjunct Moon
This influence is getting tiring. I better get used to it though, this is just the first pass! It is feast or famine. Sometimes, I get an avalanche of female attention, others, nothing. It can all dissipate in the course of a day. Lots of flings and things that seem promising but go nowhere or abruptly end. Becoming a little annoyed with one roommate and living with roommates in general. Really tough to establish a routine for anything.

Saturn Conjunct Venus (applying)
I have been having thoughts around what works and what doesn't, as far as relationships. Have been getting practical, tangible advice on artistic creation. Everything Venus is getting much "realer," not so daydreamy. Commitment is sexier than usual. Want to see my artistic endeavors pay off, which I know requires dedication.

5/3 Venus Trine Sun, Saturn (4)
I ended up having a crazy day! Met with an older woman (45) and we hung out for most of the day. We definitely got intimate. Then, I met up with another girl that night and went dancing (which I never do)! We ended up making out and stuff.

5/8 Sun Opposition Venus (9)
This is an opportunity to learn more about myself through my relationships with others. Hidden tensions may also come to the surface, especially with Uranus Conjunct Moon in the background. Good day for company and socializing, with Mercury entering Gemini. May bring out more of a philosophical and existential approach to relationships, a day of understanding rather than "action."

5/8 Mercury Opposition Sun, Saturn (9)
Entering 8th house, this is a day of raising lingering issues and engaging in necessary conflict productively. The key will be to not become discouraged with whatever realizations or feelings come as a result of my interactions and conversations with others. With 2 oppositions occurring and Saturn weighing heavier, this may not be a very "pleasant" day.

5/15 Mercury Opposition Mercury (7)
High-strung mental activity! A clash of the minds perhaps? Like the previous Mercury transit, necessary conversations need to take place. Plans may not work out as intended due to scheduling conflicts.

5/15 Venus Trine Mercury (7)
Great day for socializing and communicating feelings. Traditionally, this is seen as a pleasant influence but in light of the concurrent Mercury transit, it may be a mollifier for a not-so-pleasant exchange.

5/16 Venus Conjunct Moon (8)
Uranus and Venus both conjunct Moon in Aries on an 8 day...sounds explosive! It will be the beginning of the weekend, and spring is in full swing. I am going to a Buddhist meeting in the evening with other young folks. There is no way something WON'T happen, with all this Aries energy converging. I doubt something will happen at that meeting, because I won't really want it to.  I will only expect the unexpected...Moon will be in Sagittarius from 15th to 17th, so feelings are expanded and opportunities are plenty.

5/17 Mercury Opposition Uranus (9)
Heavy mental stimulation; excitement seeking. More openness to something unexpected. Things may escalate quickly. 

5/17 Venus Opposition Mars (9)
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. This is sexual tension at its finest! Due to the cluster of transits occurring in such a close span, I am confident something significant will transpire romantically. As of now, I have no clear-cut romantic interest, although I have been seeking more seriously lately. On 2nd thought, there is a situation with mutual interest that hasn't seem to go anywhere due to scheduling difficulties. In light of the grand scheme of things, this may be a purely physical/temporary arrangement (as everything has been in the last year or so!). Since 9 completes a cycle, this may be the result of something on the 8th.

5/18 Venus Trine Uranus (1)
More excitement on the social/romantic front. Something happens and all signs are pointing to something unexpected and ephemeral. I'm just gonna make things easy for myself and simply remember to enjoy the ride!

5/20 Mars goes direct (3)
Mars won't resume normal pace until early June. May be a time when a period of low-energy and introspection finally begins to yield more in the way of action. Time to move forward. Since my Mars is in Libra, and this is a 3 day, I think there is a significance for me, creatively. A time of clarity, at least until Mercury goes retrograde in June. 

5/21 Sun Opposition Sun, Saturn (4)
Dovetailing Mars going direct, I see a creative climax. A crucial moment, in which I am aware of the structures and limitations that inhibit my progress. I see a breakthrough, perhaps a clash with authority or other males.