It sure has been awhile, hasn't it! I don't know where to begin really, but I just want to update you and get back to talking astrology!
I have been intensely studying attraction/seduction, my other area of interest. There's a lot of information out there but a lot of it overlaps. In a highly consumerist culture, we are led to believe otherwise, but I digress. I came across a book called The Passion Trap that filled in a huge piece of the puzzle I've been putting together.
Libra is THE sign of relationships and is represented by scales, which need to be balanced. Let's think...typically, we see tall couples, although women shorter than men. Much more rare to see a tall woman with a shorter man. We usually see couples of similar physical attraction levels. Usually of the same race, intelligence, etc. All of this makes sense, in a common sense sort of way, yet it feels groundbreaking.
I've had many lovers, and enjoy variety, but as I consider a long-term relationship, these factors become more important. Aside from these more tangible factors is also a willingness to put yourself 'out there' emotionally. A lot of people are afraid of rejection, but courage to 'show up' is vital for LTR's.
My moon is in Aries, in the 7th house, which translates to many relationships! I have had Uranus in this house, conjuncting my moon for quite some time. At first, I saw this almost as a curse...like, just not a good time for any stable relationship. But that's a somewhat fatalistic approach. I am being taught how to express this energy harmoniously.
Aries is great at initiating and has a lot of passion in the beginning, but isn't so great at finishing what it starts. But I have had long-term relationships before, so what is the difference now? Everything. Including my ambivalence about long-term relationships, which I believe is actually a fear of emotional trauma, should I get dumped. Or a lack of passion and mounting expectations, should the relationship continue.
Part of it is that, I think I am dealing with the newer uncertainty who I really am vs. the comfort of who I used to be. I am a highly sexual person and not as 'emotional' as I may have thought. Let me rephrase emotional as romantic. Something about it still seems appealing but makes me sick to my stomach as well.
There is a dark side of this, as with all things (especially Scorpio, which my Venus is in): the desire for control and power. I want someone to be madly in love with me, while I reciprocate at-will. I want security in a way, but I also don't want to break someone's heart (you know, in case that Sage gets to kicking!). Women, highly empathic, sense this internal conflict, resulting in short relationships, likely because they would rather withdraw than be hurt.
It is said that the Moon is what we need emotionally, while Venus is what we want aesthetically. I see an adventurous, feisty, sensual, "dark" woman (or women). Sounds a lot like looking in the mirror...
