Temptations: Scorpio/Pluto Dynamics

Let's get right to it. The Sun has just entered Scorpio. Soon, it will conjunct my Progressed Mars and Pluto, natal Pluto, Venus and South Node. My Ascendant has progressed to Scorpio as well, so as you can see, the next two weeks are loaded. Oh, and there's a solar eclipse coming Nov. 3 too. This may all seem complicated but to simplify: there is a lot of Scorpio activity coming up.

In the greater direction of life, I am entering the period of my 1st Saturn Return. This period is all about entering a new phase of life. Will I continue to engage in behaviors or hold ideas that no longer serve me? Or will I shed the more juvenile definitions I built in the last 20 something years, in favor of more mature ones? As a Sagittarius, freedom and boundaries are a critical issue. This is an opportunity to examine what freedom means and how to effectively respect and set boundaries.

See that pic above? Nothing encapsulates more of what I mean by respecting boundaries. That is Hades taking Persephone.  The power of Pluto is such that it will take you if you don't willingly go.

With a natal 1st house Pluto and Venus in Scorpio, I have always felt drawn to its energy. I am a 0 degree Sage, born on the cusp of the underworld. Consciously, I chose to be born on the other side of the gate. My mission is to move forward but my temptation is to go back. There is nothing evil or wrong with Pluto or Scorpio, that is not the point. To build a positive relationship with this urge/energy, I must go back. To rephrase: my temptation is to go back and stay, or avoid it altogether.

Temptation infers a powerful, compelling force where resistance is a choice. Compulsion implies even less of a choice to me, yet, that's what happens when temptation is repeatedly indulged. Of course, resistance can create the same dynamic. I believe that anything that isn't healthily expressed from the birth chart gets locked in Pluto. Whatever sign and house Pluto is in, is a key or clue to unlocking your underworld, and releasing that concentrated energy. The sign is generational but the house gives more personal context.

Pluto is not an obvious planet, you have to travel deep. The journey in itself is meaningful. It represents the edge of our world. When you get there, a 3-headed dog is guarding the gate. That is your fear, you don't just stroll in the underworld. It takes courage (Mars) to face that fear and win. Progressed Mars conjuncting Pluto allows me to take advantage of an opportunity to directly face my Cerberus and release some of the power stored.

I've always looked at my Mars in Libra like a physical handicap. "I'm a Mars in Libra, exercise really isn't my thing." "I'm not one of those active types, I'd rather do something else." Consciously and unconsciously, I've allowed a notion about myself (Pluto 1st house) to become an excuse. That is an unhealthy expression of that Mars energy, so all that power is being redirected to Pluto. If I look deeper, as a child, I had asthma and glasses...well, I still do. I also began getting husky around 3rd or 4th grade. I didn't play any sports really, the last time was soccer in 6th grade. I usually did not appreciate gym unless we played dodgeball. I can either continue to ignore my health and be lazy, or I can move past that conception of myself. I think I ignore the fact that I'm overweight everyday. Sometimes I avoid the mirror. My confidence is lower than my optimism. But I can elevate my expression of Mars in Libra. It could be asserting myself to look great, not just in terms of style but physically as well.

That is the challenge with Pluto: going beyond the surface to the actual events, to specific instances. Pain is kept there..where are you limiting yourself due to past trauma? Realizations may be quick but the process will take time. What are your avenues for catharsis? Hopefully, you have healthy coping methods. I have an ex that would cut herself. Many people turn to drugs and alcohol. Some turn to crime and violence. None of these ways address the pain directly. Finding a constructive method of release is key. I don't want any of us ending up on Law and Order: SVU.

As far as dating..I see these next few weeks like a valley of temptation. In Buddhism, Mara (the equivalent of Hades) did everything in his power to stop Shakyamuni from attaining enlightenment. Mara isn't really an external force..he comes from within. I feel like doubt precipitates temptation, and Buddha had to win over his self-doubt and insecurity to attain enlightenment. To parallel, I recently realized what I was looking for in my next relationship. I was focusing more on the emotional connection than the sex and physical aspects.

Now it seems that while I know what's good for me, the temptation is to simply attain sexual pleasure. My compulsive behaviors, dating-wise, rear their ugly heads. It would be easier to simply give in and enjoy myself. It would be easier to do what I've always done and get what I've always gotten. How honest will I be with myself? Temptation can be so strong that you know wrong from right (relatively) and still choose wrong.

I mentioned doubt...'Pluto' may say "You don't know what's out there! At least you know what you can get here, right now!" A false power scenario is created; the lie is that facing the unknown will rob you of your power. Your doubt and fear surrounding change prevent you from evolving. Inner strength and courage will allow you to take advantage of this opportunity to reveal profound insights about your identity. Don't miss it!

-Shade

Neptune Transiting the 5th House

What once began as a search for a meaningful relationship has expanded to encompass my entire life. Dating, for me, has often been an egocentric process. I want this, I want that, I have a list of things, etc. While those needs are no less real, something is missing: I am prioritizing satisfaction, not growth. I am not thinking about using the relationship, simply enjoying myself within its confines.

Neptune is a sign of spirituality, mysticism and ego-transcendent experience. It dissolves the ego and the 5th house, in many ways, celebrates or expresses the ego. I really believe Neptune is the planet of "calling"...it beckons you toward your highest purpose or mission in life, which is represented by Pluto. I imagine Neptune asking me to open myself up to something much greater than myself-something beyond ordinary perception or consciousness.

While the fiery ego-drive of the 5th house and the watery ego-transcending Neptune are polar opposites elementally, there must be a way to reconcile them. My intuition says: Ask yourself if a relationship with this individual has the potential to positively affect you AND society. Maybe society isn't the best word, more like "greater good." That also can't be the sole factor, remember the concrete needs of Saturn? Let me illustrate with my life...

Earlier this year, I had a short relationship with someone in my Buddhist organization. She was a few years older and had a child, very pretty. Matter of fact, I would say she may have been the most beautiful woman I've been with thus far. I assumed that because she was beautiful and we were of the same faith, no matter what, we would succeed. I prioritized our greater purpose and potential over everything else. The result? In the end, we connected on a physical and spiritual level but certain dimensions were sorely missing. We didn't really like any of the same music, which may not be such a big deal but is indicative of different "wavelengths"...if we tune in to the same radio station, we are likely to tune in to similar vibes. We also had different ideas about romance and our personalities clash. All those fun, romantic, 5th house needs weren't being met.

So it can go both ways: romance/self-expression could be sacrificed for spirituality, or spirituality could be sacrificed for romance. I think the key is patience patience patience. Can't force anything. On another level, employing more intuitive methods of screening may help. Somebody could satisfy my checklist but how do I feel about this individual? Can I see myself with them? Does it feel right? I think that is the minimum.

In reality it all makes sense. I am very involved with my Buddhist organization and have noticed that its tough for me to prioritize my spiritual practice when I am dating. Not because of dating itself, but because it is something I typically keep hidden from my partners. Maybe hidden isn't the right word because I do tell them about my practice. Generally though, it is something I keep away from them and that creates a separation. It's all in the approach...if I'm a spiritual person, someone else needs to have a complementary degree of spirituality. Doesn't necessarily need to be the same faith but there needs to be a connection in that dimension.

-Shade

Sun Conjunct Saturn

As I continue the search for a meaningful relationship, something profound is taking place. I am learning more about who I am and who I am not. I am defining myself, beginning to understand my limits. As a Sagittarian, and one who believes in unlimited potential, I have always rebelled against the concept of limitation. As I grow older however, I have begun to understand on a very intuitive level that limits are very real. Now, that understanding is becoming more explicit and it's great timing because Saturn Returns for me Christmas Eve 2014.

This defining of myself is actually very freeing! Knowing my limits actually gives me a greater degree of confidence and autonomy. These boundaries don't have to be super rigid, but I need to know where I can and can't compromise. I kind of dated a 50-something year old woman for a few weeks. Just felt weird, couldn't do it. As I get older, I find that I can't really connect with the early 20s as much. Last weekend, I found I had greater success messaging women in the mid to late 30's. Why is that?

Typically, at that age people tend to know more about themselves and what they want, thus, they "get serious." They begin to seek qualities in relationships like emotional connection and stability. After viewing so many profiles of women my height and over, I realize they usually want someone taller and I'm not as comfortable being the shorter one. Therefore, I set height "under 5'9". That's just one way of beginning to set limits that actually bring you closer to what you want.

I'll tell you what is painful: realizing that physical attraction doesn't equal relationship success! Many of the ideas I once held (idealized) regarding relationships start to meet the reality. This is all Saturnian. Often, I've heard Saturn describe as the planet of limitation and contraction, which is still accurate but the context always seemed so blah and negative. Now, I look at it more like limitations and definitions that stem from wisdom and understanding. You learn that fire burns your hand and refrain from touching it. You're always free to touch the fire, but you will get burned. Now it makes sense why Saturn is called the planet of karma. Karma is neither good, nor bad. It is at once the actions we take and the consequences of those actions.

As I define my values, I begin to feel this amazing sense of freedom. I have Sun Conjunct Saturn in my natal chart, which I have always never quite understood. I have never felt very self-disciplined or reserved, like most interpretations suggest. But, I have always chosen not to be. Subsequently, I have yet to feel any real sense of fulfillment or achievement, though I remain optimistic. Now that I see Saturn in a very friendly light and understand its purpose in the human development cycle, I can begin working with it instead of rebelling against it.

-Shade

Blood Moon: Lunar Eclipse in my 7th House

Admittedly, I'm pretty uninformed when it comes to the effect of Lunar Eclipse transits but I know they are significant. At around 7:30pm tonight, the moon will be about 25 degrees Aries. I have been reading about this transit a bit and will attempt to make an inference on the basis of what I know.

The Sun (Libra) will be in exact opposition to the Moon (Aries). Oppositions are generally overstimulating and high tension...competition comes to mind. There are two competing urges and there must be a victor. It is a crisis. Crisis meaning a critical event, something must be done. Libra is the urge to create harmony and relate to others, compromise is the active word. Aries is the urge to assert yourself to achieve what you desire, initiative is the active word. So, there is tension between your need to assert yourself for what you want versus your need to compromise on what you want for the sake of harmony. Aries demands you take action!

I read (Stars and Stones) that the effects of this event depend on how close the transit is to the angles (AC, MC, IC, DC) when it occurs. It is closer to the AC here in the US, so the effects should kick in about a month afterwards on the national level (Government Shutdown?). When it occurs personally depends on the closeness to your angle. It is closer to my AC personally, so it could take anywhere from 9-12 months to show :/ I feel like there is a crisis at my job right now where my supervisor has been very antagonistic (Aries?) for the past few weeks, despite my attempts to be harmonious (Libra) in the workplace. I found out yesterday that I'm on the verge of being let go, which was a total shock. I feel the need to defend myself from what I feel is a personal vendetta, that threatens my livelihood.

Interestingly enough, the other option to firing me was extending my probationary period another month. Hmmmm...very interesting possible alignment of events.

Full moons generally coincide with or are very good times to culminate or finish things. So I am understandably edgy on this Friday, hopefully it is just paranoia. Jupiter is in my 10th house right now, which I feel should impart career opportunities and benefits, especially being a Sag. I am hoping it all coincides with something grander than what is apparent. Faith is key!

This transit also occurs in my 7th house, and you know how much I care about relationships right now. If it will indeed take nine to twelve months...first of all, I don't want to get anyone pregnant. In a little over 12 months, Saturn will return for me. It could mean anything though...let's say I go out tonight, and meet the woman of my dreams. It could mean that in 12 months we get engaged...yikes! What am I doing to myself?

It is all about engaging the energy, right? There is a choice, and I am choosing to use this transit in my search for a relationship. That is the direction I have been choosing consciously since my break-up earlier this month. I have been slowly honing in on what I want, and now is the time to go for it! No waffling around. The Libran Sun is blocked out and the Aries Moon is in full view...Libra makes delicious waffles but Aries makes that bacon! It is time to make bacon!

-Shade

Mercury Conjunct Venus: The Language of Love

In case you haven't noticed, this whole blog is journaling my efforts to land a lasting, satisfying union. I'm not necessarily in a marriage and kids frame of mind, but I am in a commitment frame of mind. Let's look at some of the ways my recent transit, Mercury Conjunct Venus, will/already are affecting my love life.

So Mercury hasn't gone retrograde yet but it is awfully close. My Venus is at 17 degrees Scorpio, which means today and tomorrow Mercury will be within a degree. Mercury will go retrograde the 22nd, then conjunct Venus almost exact the 24th and 25th. Technically, from today until the 25th it will not go more than a degree from my natal Venus, and I'm OK with just saying the transit will be occurring over the next week.

My prediction: I will have a much more objective and rational view of love and pleasure during this time. I will also be able to communicate with the opposite sex a lot better, even intuitively. During my travels, I will meet a potential love interest.

My desired outcome: To stop putting my foot in my mouth so I have room for someone elses. Too raunchy/kinky?

A few days ago, I looked at a profile of a girl that seemed very hipsterish and while she was beautiful, I declined to message her, feeling we wouldn't be compatible. Today, I broke down and read through her profile and became attracted to the fact that she was an apprentice funeral director. Now, that hipsterish look is actually more like the dark Scorpio aesthethic I'm attracted to. She has pics in the cemetary and seems to embrace the "darker" side of life. She's a Gemini but I suspect she at least has Scorpio rising.

Moving away from the Scorpio aspect a bit, I did notice that I was looking at profiles much more scrutinously. This is a natural extension of my recent breakthroughs regarding romantic relationships. Neptune has been in my 5th house for some time, amplifying my already idealistic outlook on romantic potential. This is a welcome transit, as I gain some sorely needed objectivity back. I've also been able to observe my behaviors better; I have a habit of jumping at the first romantic opportunity that presents itself (Moon in Aries).

Mercury rules communication, thoughts, and travel...all matters of transit really. It is a very light, quick planet; always making connections. One way I could use this influence is to travel a bit. Not just going out but going someplace new and maybe a little further away. Perhaps a party about a 30 minute drive from my house. Mercury may be saying "Hey, I know you're looking for love but you're not looking very far! Get out there, she's waiting!"

I guess in a way, it could also be looked at like a short-term fling. Somebody that is in town for a short period of time and looking for fun and pleasure. It could also manifest as romantic imagination aka fantasy. Oppositions are more objective than conjunctions usually, so even if it is Mercury aspecting Venus, the way the energies mix in a conjunction, both planets affect one another. So the rationale and objectivity of Mercury blends with the pleasure seeking Venus to create reasons to indulge!

Interesting to note, Mercury and Venus are the only 2 planets that still rule 2 signs. Both are very social in a way, think Gemini and Libra. This could be a time of pleasing conversation. It could also be a time where a friend hooks us up with someone, or we become aware of a friend that it is romantically interested. Either way, pleasure is being contacted in a discrete, not discreet, manner.

It will actually conjunct Venus a third time when it goes direct on November 26th. Mercury retrogrades tend to be just awful, in my opinion. Usually it points to difficulties in communicating and traveling...even people that don't 'believe' in astrology knows something happens when it goes retrograde. Lots of accidents and mistakes tend to happen. I'll pay attention to this transit direct vs. retrograde and perhaps update the difference when I look at Mercury retrograde.

-Shade

Venus' Bow

So I figured out my relationship needs by taking a closer look at my Sun, Moon, Venus and Mars placements. Now I know what I'm looking for and have a better idea of what will and won't work. Remember, the big lesson was that signs represent values, not the other way around. I've released my bias (almost completely) towards signs as indicators of compatibility and am shifting my focus towards transits.

It can be tough to meet people you are genuinely interested in, romantically. Online dating is becoming more popular but single people are out and about beyond the internet. I believe that by understanding our needs and wants, we can become more successful in finding romantic fulfillment. After all, you can't use a fishing rod to catch deer! It's time to talk about when. When are some of the best times in the year to meet a potential mate?

Venus transits are great for romance in general, but when it aspects Jupiter, look out! Jupiter is the planet of opportunity, so in the language of stars it translates to love opportunities. Venus in Sagittarius is a similar influence. Venus in any of the fire signs is a great time for love. I could also be biased but fire is a very outgoing element, so it is conducive to people meeting.

Venus transits to Mars are auspicious times for romance as well. Venus transits to Pluto may be more conducive to hook-ups rather than long-term relationships. You never know what can happen! Venus transits to Uranus often produce an unexpected or sudden love, one of my personal favorites!Venus transits. Of course, Venus through your 5th and 7th house are great times for romance. Saturn often gets a bad rap but it is the planet of duty, responsibility and commitment. However, commitment doesn't happen out of the blue and this type of transit is better for relationships that have already been established a bit.

Here's a brief summation of Venus transits:

Venus-Jupiter: Love opportunities
Venus-Mars: Love energy 
Venus-Uranus: Love unexpected
Venus-Pluto: Lust
Venus-Saturn: Love commitment

As for other planets transiting Venus, the inner planets (Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars) aspect the natal placement frequently, so the effect is a day or two tops. Mars moves about a degree every 2 days, so its effects can last 2 or 3 days. The outer planets however, indicate very significant periods in your romantic life whenever they aspect Venus. The effect is similar to what I described earlier, but the transit lasts a lot longer and is a lot deeper...definitely more "significant" in your love life.

Venus transiting any sensitive planet, like your Sun or ASC ruler is something to look out for as well.

Happy hunting!

-Shade

Who is Persephone? Part III

Last time, I was going through a very logical sequence of examining potential mates by astrological energy signatures. I'm actually going to break from that and approach it a bit differently.

Synastry (astrological chart comparison) is very useful but it involves so many factors and happens after meeting someone. I can look at my chart and say, hey my perfect match is a Leo Sun, Sagittarius Moon and Aries Rising...therefore I am looking for someone born on a certain day, at a certain time. Pretty ridiculous right? Even if we find such an individual, it doesn't guarantee interest either way. What we're really searching for is....satisfaction!

We want satisfying relationships in all forms, especially romantically. While it would be interesting to have Fire parties or Water soirees, where only certain signs are invited, it doesn't typically happen that way. One way this kind of happens, is at....birthday parties! Energy typically attracts like energy, and I would be interested in polling guests (in some sly way) to reveal their signs. Another way this can happen is if you utilize online dating services, where you can choose to filter people by sign. However, not everyone lists their sign and sun signs aren't the end-all be-all of astrological compatibility anyway. For now, let's just agree that we want to attract a person who will satisfy our relationship needs.

The first part of this formula then, is what are my relationship needs (right now)? Knowing what you want (intent) creates a powerful attraction force (ever watch/read The Secret? humor me anyway). I mean, how can you get what you want if you don't know what you want? As we grow older, we learn more about who we are (what works and what doesn't) and become less experimental in general. If you want a fling, all you need is mutual attraction. If you want a more lasting union, some guidelines are essential. I want a lasting union, so let's quickly breakdown my relationship needs by taking a clue from my astrological placements.

Sun in Sagittarius (2nd house) - I appreciate broad-minded, optimistic women with a sense of adventure and spontaniety. I appreciate the artistic/sophisticated over the outdoorsy type. Matching sense of humor is a must! Foreign women with accents are very sexy.

Moon in Aries (7th house) - I am drawn to women who are lively and decisive. I don't like to guess what she's feeling, I want to know. I like women who are playful, rather than emotionally sensitive. I also like expedited courting...l will give up if I feel like the process is taking too long. I would rather try and see if it works (bump my head) rather than hesitate at romantic opportunities. Liking sports is a plus!

Venus in Scorpio (2nd house) - I am attracted to women that are very sexual and intensely loyal. Jet black hair, pale skin and dark make up are all turn ons for me. Piercing eyes that fix their gaze on me, and me only, are irresistible! I like feeling like I am the only man a woman would EVER want. I also like women who appreciate "dark" things: Tim Burton movies, Batman, magic/occult/fantasy, etc.

Mars/ASC in Libra (1st house) - I desire femininity and social savvy in women. Style is a big turn on! Manicures and pedicures are greatly appreciated but appearance needs to be taken care of. No hairy legs or unshaven arm pits for me! Aggressive and argumentative women are a turn-off, I appreciate a lady that's opinionated but can go with the flow and maintain harmony. Physically, I like rounder/thicker women with booty (Libra rules the buttocks after all!).

Can one woman embody all these qualities? Anything is possible but if I were to guess, I have to choose between the qualities of the Moon and Venus (Quincunx within a degree). Aries and Scorpio are both children of Mars, possessing passion. Aries women seem to "pop up" more to me, while I seem to notice Scorpio women/traits more. I'm attracted to Aries energy but Scorpio aesthetic. However, attraction doesn't equate to endurability and more likely than not, Scorpio will "drown out" my fiery nature. Us Sages are notoriously flirtatious and Scorpio is the last sign to tolerate any behaviors that even hint infidelity.

What sign embodies optimism, humor, confidence, adventure, passion and loyalty? Leo! Leo doesn't "dominate" as Aries typically would, but is responsive enough to keep me from getting bored. Any sign can be thick or like sports (although Leo women are more likely to be), those are mainly superficial qualities. This doesn't mean I'm only going to date Leo women, a Leo woman is just more likely to embody the traits I desire. We date people, not signs!

The next part of this is how can I attract someone with these qualities? Intent is important, but how can I actively participate in the attraction process? For this, I believe I can leverage astrological transits, as well as "clean up" and "amplify" my energy output, which is naturally compatible with these traits. That will be for another entry!

-Shade

Who is Persephone? Part II

What is love? Is it a feeling of wholeness, like the yin and yang joining in harmony? Is it when we decide that we're willing to open ourselves and become emotionally vulnerable to an individual? Is it a 'knowing' or feeling of kismet? It could be all of the above and more, but I suspect it has a lot more to do with who we are as individuals than our relationship to another.

All I know is, I want that feeling I had with my first girlfriend back. Or something better. I honestly believe it is the reason I keep studying astrology. Studying astrology, I am studying myself and the more I understand myself, the happier I will be. I am desperate for something I can't define but I'm optimistic astrology can help!

I have dated almost every sign in the zodiac but a few more than others. My longest relationships (3 years a piece) were with a Scorpio and Leo, 2 fixed signs. My first girlfriend was a Sagittarius, and I dated a Sagittarian girl earlier this year; both lasted about 3 months. I had a 3 month relationship with a Cancer, who was very dominating and emotional. My relationships with Gemini's have been short, odd, and very sexual: dated one for a month, another I hooked up with a few times (she was in an open relationship), and one calls me all the time (booty call). Aries relationships have had a lot of attraction and sexual energy, I seem to attract them the most.

I could keep going but I think it would get boring and I just wanted to organize my thoughts. I've begun simplifying things because I realize its about energy at play. I look to the broader categories of the elements (Fire, Air, Earth, Water) and quadruplicities (Cardinal, Fixed, Mutable). I am Fire, with a good deal of Air, elementally; I have almost no Earth and little Water. I am Mutable, with a good deal of Cardinal, but no Fixed. Let's examine how these factors play out for me.

Fire is very spirited and idealistic as an element.  Air is very expressive and intellectual. It is easy to see both qualities in myself, as I am a very passionate, optimistic individual that loves to talk and think. I tend to get along with others who share my lightheartedness and enjoy communicating, even if they end up doing a lot of listening. I do not get along with cynical, negative, skeptical types. I dated a Scorpio who was so negative about everything, but the sex was great!

I am not very sentimental or emotional, and at times lack practicality and discipline (especially when it comes to spending money). Fire can be a slave to impulse, but Water or Earth may not appreciate such spontaneity. In the end, Fire gets bored with Earth's predictability and disgusted/overwhelmed by Water's sensitivity (I'm speaking in terms of pure energy and trying to withhold bias, but I'm failing). So for the sake of argument, let's agree that Fire should stick to other Fiery or Airy folks.

Mutable energy is very adaptable and Cardinal is initiating...I am always up for an adventure...to the local bar! Naw but really, in general I like to lead but am flexible enough to adapt to others needs and compromise. Mutable doesn't often play nice with mutable though, so that leaves Fixed and Cardinal. I think Fixed complements my energy nicely but I enjoy Cardinal energy as well. So let's break down the zodiac to see what signs/energies make sense.

Best - Aquarius (Fixed Air), Leo (Fixed Fire), Libra (Cardinal Air), Aries (Cardinal Fire)
Gamble - Gemini (Mutable Air), Sagittarius (Mutable Fire)
Warning - Virgo (Mutable Earth), Pisces (Mutable Water), Taurus (Fixed Earth), Scorpio (Fixed Water), Capricorn (Cardinal Earth), Cancer (Cardinal Water)

That ends the theory...what has been my reality/experience so far? I can't seem to generate any kind of romantic interest from Aquarians, they want to be friends AT MOST. Odd, because my Jupiter is in Aquarius, and most of my 5th house (romance) is ruled by Aquarius. I've dated a Libra maybe once, but she was very intertial. I just met a Libra where there is potential, and her energy seems very still as well but she has a little more bounce. I have a Libra friend who is super colorful and bouncy but we're just friends. My Mars is in Libra, conjunct ASC but I don't think that has turned up much. But that statement sums up my approach; in general, I expect to attract women with little effort (that's Mars in Libra for you!)

Aries I attract a lot...why is that? My moon is in Aries, which creates a lot of dynamism being opposite my Mars. My concern is being dominated...and not only are Aries women typically dominant, but an Aries Sun would "dominate" my moon. Leo...I've only dated 1 I think, but I really enjoyed her! We just seemed to click despite our differences and I enjoyed many aspects of the relationship with her. Leo has the potential to form a Grand Trine with my Sun and Moon, and Leos have always been supportive in my life.

I didn't anticipate a part III but I'm thinking its necessary. This is a lot for one day! I'll finish up on Monday.

-Shade

Who is Persephone? Part I

Many years ago, when I was a senior in high school, there was this girl. To be honest, I lusted after many girls, as most boys do around that age, but I really wanted her. She was Ukrainian, had this sexy accent, and to be quite frank, an amazing ass. I remember going on a field trip and following her around like toilet paper on a shoe. We had talked a bit, so my light stalking isn't as creepy as it may sound. She even signed my yearbook, which I still have. Nothing came of it however, and I went off to college.

Fast forward to around New Years Eve 2004. I had chatted with her on Facebook, and was excited when she reciprocated my interest. We met up, and after escaping a gauntlet with a good friend of mine as competition, made it back to my place. We listened to music, danced, and then sat on my bed. We began to talk and next thing, we had this kiss. It was no ordinary kiss...it was a Big Bang kiss. A new universe was created, as electricity surged from my lips through my body.

We begun dating, and eventually lost our virginities to one another. It was special. After several weeks, I knew I loved her. We would write letters, not emails, to one another. We visited each other about every other week, staying in the others dorm. I had eyes for no one else but her. After about 3 months however, things began to change.

I noticed more distance...I can faintly recall an incident where she disclosed that she was over some other guys house and things happened. Even then, I could sense it coming...we were going to break up. When the big day came, she met me at this fountain near the center of town and dumped me. Said she was no longer attracted to me and wanted to be single (Sagittarius). I tried to argue my way back into the relationship but it was a done deal.

I was devastated. I cried a lot that summer. I was working at a pizza joint in the mall and remember seeing her a few times (thankfully only with girlfriends). We were only together for 3 and a half months, although this relationship had a significant effect on me. Nothing was the same after that. Somehow, I lost or sealed away my ability to be truly vulnerable in relationships. Any relationship I've had since, the only thing bruised has been my ego.

That's my catharsis and remarkably, I am still emotionally stirred even when I share that story. Its almost like Forgetting Sarah Marshall but no Mila Kunis has entered my life yet. I wanted to share  that story with you for many reasons but I want to clarify this 'Persephone' thing for you and me. Just a little more set up and I'll dig into the astrological bag.

Earlier this year, I ended my 7-month tenure at the world's leading lingerie brand. Working in retail makes you crazy, so of course, I had fantasies for the mannequins (but not in that way!). It was more like, I envisioned this woman who was very sexy and would look spectacular in all the free lingerie I was receiving. I pictured her having this dark aesthetic and named her Persephone. Persephone actually grew in concept, and I wanted to have my own lingerie store. Then it shrank, and I really just wanted to be truly happy in a relationship (subconsciously, happy like my first relationship I described earlier).

What was going on in the heavens when I met 'Persephone' incarnation number 1? We are both Sages, although I think she is a second decan. Venus was in Sagittarius, my 3rd house, and conjunct my Uranus. Mars was in Sagittarius, conjunct my Sun/Saturn, in my 2nd house. Jupiter was in Libra, conjunct my Mars/ASC, opposite Moon. Neptune was conjunct my Jupiter in Aquarius, 4th house. Venus was also conjuncting Pluto (both transits, no natal), albeit wide at about 5 degrees.

So Venus softens the electrifying Uranus, adding charm or allure to my eccentric expression. Mars gives a boost to my ego, making an otherwise girl-shy 19 year old me go for it! In turn, Jupiter expands my sex drive and assertiveness, further pushing me towards consummating my feelings. Being opposite the moon, it produces either incredible attraction or repulsion and luckily for me its the former! Neptune hooking up with Jupiter gave me a good dose of idealistic optimism, quelling any fears or insecurities. Venus and Pluto...well, that is quite the sexual combination and I'm sure it set the mood for our union.

Basically, I got a big push from the cosmos saying "go for it, we got your back!" Other than that, there's nothing really special about that time. I'm not going to predict finding "the one," on the basis of that configuration. She ended up being special, but I think it was more about me and that time in my life.

What I will do in part II is examine what astrological energies I should look for, taking into account my own responsibility/development in facilitating a satisfying union.

-Shade

A Sip Of My Goddam Juice...Squares

I remember dreading the square when I first got into astrology. A lot of older books did not speak favorably of the square. I've come a long way since then, seeing squares as a necessary part of life. I was ruminating over it this morning in the bathroom and decided to share this perspective.

Squares are signs of tension, demanding a new structure, form or channel of expression. If you look at the zodiac, Aries, Cancer, Libra, and Capricorn comprise the cardinal signs. They are all square to one another, representing Fire, Water, Air and Earth respectively. They also initiate the coming seasons, Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter. See the common theme? Change. Necessary phases for completion and wholeness.

I've often heard that relationships aren't "serious" until after the first 3 months. 3 is more of a checkpoint, as many people will attest to 6 months being the true test. Of course, nothing says steady like an anniversary. Never heard someone talk about 9 months in, unless referring to pregnancy. Yikes! Although, a baby is the ultimate new form of expression isn't it?

You see where I'm going with this. Relationships are about building and bonding, in a world where everything is in constant flux. Somehow, two people must strengthen their bond amidst the dynamic forces permeating the universe. That sounds rather poetic and abstract but it is a fact: your family or friends might not like the relationship, maybe you get a promotion that requires a move, and you yourself is constantly growing/changing.

When two people come together, they conjunct. New love is like Spring...everything is so new and exciting, especially after Winter (being single/bad past relationship). There's a certain fearlessness in the beginning, at least for me. I dated a gorgeous woman with a young child not too long ago. I swore up and down that we would get married and have children and make it through no matter what. I ended it a little over a month later. Womp womp.

When you've been together for close to 3 months, the seasons begin to change or already have. The relationship is still fresh but familiarity lurches into the equation. You begin "seein thangs," if you haven't already. Your energies/identities can only be suppressed for so long, before it becomes frustrating and demands attention. I think this is the point where agreements or ground rules come to the forefront. This is the Summer of the relationship, which is ruled by Cancer. Your habits become apparent and you must choose how you will proceed. A keyword with Cancer is security, and at 3 months I can hear the question: "Is you or is you ain't my baby?"

Around 6 months, the oxytocin begins to wear off. The relationship reaches the opposition, or Fall season. Oppositions are the highest point of tension, the climax. What is left after the Spring fling or Summer bummer? This is the time when relationships need adjustment and balance to work together. Sounds like Libra to me! I think this phase depends on the type or strength of the agreement you made at the first square. If it was superficial and "glossed over," it will be that much uglier when the love high is gone. If it was an honest, productive, communicative exchange...I think the partnership deepens. I believe that anytime people do their due diligence, they are rewarded at the crucial junctures.

Remember how I said nobody really talks about 9 months? It corresponds with Winter, a dead time of year. At 9 months, you're at the halfway point and the anniversary is just 3 months away. I know that Winter is a time to cuddle by the fire and stay warm. It is also a time of celebration, filled with 3 holidays. Capricorn is a sign of ambition and achievement, but it has never been known for flair. The energy is steady, very Saturnian. Maybe 9 months is a make or break point, where duty and responsibility become part of the equation. I mean, I don't know of any responsibility bigger than a baby.

Of course, this is all just theory based on generalization and extended common sense. Anniversaries typically function as a reflection upon the date you first met or starting dating. Makes sense, all those feelings being relived as an impetus towards another year together. I haven't had a relationship longer than a month since the beginning of this year, when my 3 year relationship ended. I am pretty positive this one is ending tonight, at less than 3 months. Although, it could drag on for 6 months until she leaves.

I'm still building the Frankenstein, searching for an ideal relationship. It is probably the one aspect of my life I rely upon the stars guidance for the most. I am part of the equation too, but I'm looking for that energy, that spark! I'll stop here, I could pine poetically about love and romance for days.

-Shade

Transiting Venus Conjunct Natal Sun

Venus transits aren't usually assigned a great deal of significance due to the planet's brief influence, which usually lasts a day. However, when several transits occur with a similar interchange, and Venus is the ruler of your ASC, the effects are more noticeable.

Today, Venus Conjuncts my Sun in Sagittarius. Tomorrow, Sun Conjuncts ASC and Mars in Libra. The next 2-3 days will carry a Venusian influence, but I want to delve a little deeper and predict how.

Venus beautifies, harmonizes and softens anything it touches. Venus is about pleasure, receiving pleasure. The Sun, representing the self/identity and its radiance/projection receives the allure and charm of Venus when their energies combine. When Sagittarius and Venus hook up, its a party! Sag expands the Venus energy; one of the key phrases for Sag is "I seek," and hedonism/pleasure seeking is their love child. Well, mythology accounts Dionysus was the son of Zeus/Jupiter and Persephone actually. It also says Dionysus was the son of Zeus and Semele. I smell an episode of Maury!

I primarily reference inner experience but transits can manifest as outer experiences as well. Venus represents women, as well as potential love interests, in a man's chart. The Sun is a masculine symbol, representing the self/ego in a man's chart. Venus conjuncting Sun could crystallize as a woman/love interest becoming more visible or making her affection known.

The Sun illuminates, energizes, and prioritizes anything it aspects. It is a sign of recognition and the urge to be recognized as an individual. The Ascendant, represents the personality as it projects to others, especially upon first contact. Mars is the physical drive and urge to assert ones self towards desires. I have a very expressive personality with Mars Conjunct ASC. Adding the Sun to the mix will likely result in a very egocentric cocktail! The energy flow demands I be recognized, but Venus' affect mitigates that expression to create a lot of charm and magnetism.

The Sun will also be in opposition to my Moon in Aries. Oppositions create a dynamism of excitement, which can result in conflict or energy amplification/over-stimulation. As an outer experience, it could be opposites attract or I come into conflict with females. With Venus/Libra mediating the energy however, I am hopeful that conflict will not be the outcome. Even if conflict is the outcome, it is a necessary part of life. Often, the conflict needs to occur in order to progress or clear the mind of something that has been bubbling for some time.

Tomorrow, I am supposed to have lunch with a co-worker (Libra) who I have a bit of an interest in. Taboo, I know. Scandalous even. I am also supposed to have dinner with my frustrated/upset girlfriend (Taurus). Both signs are ruled by Venus. See what I did there? However, I'm not quite satisfied with that, and hope some new love interest takes form in the next few days. Yeah I said it!
The "conflict" will likely be with my girlfriend, who exhibits a domineering energy (although, in a very feminine way). She is a fixed sign and I don't think I'm willing to compromise on whatever it is she's upset about, which I suspect was me just being me. In all likelihood, she will break up with me.

Which brings me to my final point. Having an awareness of these transits, it is up to me how I react to the influence. A part of me wants my girlfriend to break up with me. She's moving in 3 months anyway, and her attitude seems high-maintenance emotionally. It is her first relationship but not mine, and I am more than willing to move on if it means less drama. I also feel like being more amorous and exploring other potential romances. I want to explore already, these transits just make it easier to satisfy my desire.

PS: My Sun is conjunct Saturn. Saturn can be interpreted as a party pooper due to its heaviness and emphasis on duty and responsibility. However, Venus lightens the load a bit, so I will probably feel a little irresponsible/less uptight.

-Shade

Moon in Aries (7th House)

Let's examine one of my natal positions I've been tuning into a lot more lately. I also want to vent about my roommate situation, so bear (or ram) with me.

My father would never really teach me much about astrology, even when I asked. One thing I remember him telling me is, "you're going/likely to marry an Aries woman." I have been trying to make sense of that prediction and my moon sign for quite some time.

The Moon is about comfort and security, from which our habits/routines/patterns stem from. It rules domestic behavior, childhood, the past, even past lives: all the things and ways of being we've been comfortable with and will revert to should we feel threatened or maligned in any way. It is how we react and the realm of the subconscious, which again, is an influence of pattern or learned behavior. It represents the mother (principle): the first woman we clung to that nourished and protected us. Makes sense that the Moon/Cancer would rule the breasts and stomach.

In a man's chart, due to projection/societal influences, it often represents women, including the mother and wife. In my life, although I recognize that my mother was/is very sheltering, I felt alone as a child/adolescent. Even now, I feel a lack of close connection to anyone. Aries is a sign of independence, which could also manifest as isolation. My mother (Virgo) was in the mental hospital in my early years, and my Aunt and Uncle (both Leos) raised me. I can remember crying as my mother left me at their house. Though I would reconnect with and spend most of my childhood with her, I believe this contributed to my feeling of emotional isolation.

I cannot mention my moon without mentioning my Mars in Libra opposite by less than 1 degree. I'll go into more detail later but Mars represents assertiveness/drive/ambition. Having Mars, a masculine energy, opposite Moon, a feminine energy, is conducive to projection. I seem to attract a good deal of Aries women (and Jewish women, but I'll save you the tangent), which makes sense if I'm asserting myself with Libra energy (Mars is Conjunct ASC by the way). The opposition creates a dynamic that Aries women would be attuned to. However, the Sun in Aries woman energy doesn't really "stick" for me, partially because of the way it aspects my Moon.

It is said that when a woman's Sun aspects a man's Moon, especially by conjunction, she will dominate him. Most of my experience with Aries has been hook-ups but I had a 6-month "relationship" with one. By the way, another "symptom" of Aries moon (especially in the 7th house) is many relationships but I'm not so sure I want the cure! Anyways, this particular pairing ended when she wanted to be boyfriend and girlfriend and I didn't. We did often have mini-power struggles--she was very assertive which was a turn-on. We also had great sexual compatibility.

Like I mentioned earlier, the Moon also rules domestic behavior/urges. I have wanted to live alone alone for quite some time but unable to fulfill that desire due to financial constraints. Instead, I have had many roommates and this year is the first time I am staying in the same residence for the 2nd year! Originally, I shared this apartment with a Gemini and Pisces (she's been living there for 7+ years). The Gemini was of course, 2-faced and criminal...let me rephrase. She embodied some of Gemini's worst characteristics. I "clashed" with the Pisces mostly over her aloofness/forgetfulness. I quoted clashed because my Libran influence seems to mute or subdue my anger towards others, which can manifest as passive-aggressiveness at its worst or a lack of face-to-face confrontation in general.

Two roommates later, me and the Pisces have adjusted. Our new roommate, which I lobbied for, is a Sag/Aries moon/Virgo rising with 4 planets in the 4th house. The Pisces, who is the natural Queen of the house is in direct confrontation (square most likely) with this...female, who also wants to be the Queen. This new person has been an energy disturbance, and its only been a little over a month. She has allegedly sparked an angry outburst from the relatively docile Pisces and inspires disgust from me in general. Our latest drama involved her wanting an old roommate to stay with us for a few days because of a violent housemate. Last night, she wanted me to escort her over to her old place to visit her roommate, just in case that violent, drunk housemate came back. I declined with a great deal of resentment about the situation in general.

Thanks for letting me vent a bit. The question is, where do I go from here? How do I elevate/transform this influence to facilitate growth and harmony? I don't necessarily have the answer but that is what experience is for. Somehow, I will exert myself in order to achieve a greater degree of wholeness and fulfillment.

As for my father's prediction, it makes a lot of sense. The 7th house is the house of marriage, partnership and working relationships. "Working" be a keyword, since it is ruled by Libra, adjustments and compromises have to be made for the partnership to be harmonious. I like taking leadership in any kind of partnership because I trust my judgment more than others'. However, in some instances, my judgment is very poor, particularly when it comes to money (I typically spend/act on impulse but I'm getting better). I can assert myself (Mars/Aries) to create relationships (Libra) which complement my judgment (Sagittarius). The how is half the fun!

Natal Moon Aspects
Moon Conjunct DES
Moon Quincunx Venus
Moon Opposition ASC
Moon Opposition Mars
Moon Trine Uranus

-Shade

Too Heavy for a Zephyr

I started this journal on Friday, Oct. 4, which incidentally was a new moon. New Moons are a great time to start projects, although I was actually unaware it was a new moon. I just felt this urge to start building instead of waiting. Interestingly enough, another astrologer started (or posted her first entry) on Thursday, Oct. 3...a day before! Guess what she called her site? www.persephoneastrology.com
I have yet to contact her but I'm sure I will make some attempt. In the meantime, check out her site if you're interested. She's located in California, a place I have longed to visit and possibly relocate to for many moons.

Yesterday, I spent some time with my girlfriend (Taurus Sun, Virgo Moon, Leo Rising) which was OK. She was upset/frustrated when she left because she felt I should've invited her back to my place after we went grocery shopping. Frustration that mounted from us not having sex due to her very attached chihuahua she brought over (short story but I'm avoiding tangents!). A few things I have noticed in our short relationship: 1. She wants sex a lot more often that I do; 2. She seems to take much of my logorrhea literally/seriously; 3. We can easily tell if the other is frustrated or sad, even through text communication.

I will infer that Taurus has a grosser or more physical desire for sex. Or maybe they tend to take control in sexual situations? In general, Taurus is a tactile/material sign, so my girlfriend may just want more contact (Taureans can be greedy at times too). Scorpio, which my Venus is in, sits opposite Taurus and I may be dealing with control. Scorpio wants the persons soul...the body is too superficial for its desire to possess. Scorpio wants this deep, emotional connection through sex and Taurus wants close, physical connection through sex. She has initiated sex almost every time and is turned off by my hesitation. I love sex too, I swear! I don't like feeling pressured however, and would rather have my advances rejected than reject someone else's. I blame my Mars in Libra.

I tend to be very expressive to the point of being self-conscious about talking too much (Mars Conjunct ASC), hoping people sift the gold from the sand when I speak. I am poor at executing and recognizing sarcasm; most of my spoken content is jovial and tangential. My Mercury is in Sagittarius, falling in her 4th house. Her Mercury is in Aries, falling in my 6th house. More significant, I think, is my Mercury squaring her Jupiter in the 7th house. Her Jupiter is in Pisces, which it ruled before Neptune was discovered. Any planet in the 7th house is significant in relationships (she says I'm her first relationship though, interesting because I'm a Sage but I would think Jupiter's expansiveness would have bestowed more opportunities). I will have to observe a bit more before I make sense of what is what.

She is actually moving to California, come January (which somehow I knew). Many people I know have moved to California in the past few years. Its as if a westward wind is blowing everyone in that direction and somehow I'm too heavy or too rooted (or too broke) to catch it. At least I have a plan to move in the next 3 or 4 years.....really!

-Shade

A Sexy Introduction

Welcome everyone! My name is...hmm, I'll call myself Shade. This blog will be a creative outlet through the lens of astrology. I will be sharing my journey and any subsequent wisdom, which I hope will be entertaining, thought-provoking and hilarious. Oh, and sexy, don't forget sexy. I want to put the lingerie on astrology.

I am a second generation astrologer. My father was an astrologer and frequent writer for American Astrology (now Horoscope Guide). I spent part of my time with him, but grew up mostly with my mother (who is definitely opposed to any astrology or occult science). He died exactly a month before my 27th birthday, yet I feel I connect to him now more than ever.

He used to say he could just tell people's signs when he walked the streets. I don't know if that's true, nor do I know how he could even verify that. Regardless, it has always been a goal of mine to be able to tell peoples signs/energy just from conversation. That is the level of mastery I seek to obtain and surpass.

I am a Sagittarius with an Aries Moon and Libra Rising. I will reveal more of my natal chart and interpretations as I continue to update. I will also explore transits on a personal and societal level, as well as chart interpretations for love interests, friends and family. I have studied astrology for years but I am just beginning to develop the ability to interpret things on my own. It should be fun to witness my growth as an astrologer and writer, as I plan to author a few books in the future.

My favorite author is Stephen Arroyo. I also enjoy Dane Rudhyar and Liz Greene. I plan on doing some book reviews as well. A little about my writing style...I'm going to keep it raw and true to myself, which I'm sure in many instances won't be politically or grammatically correct.

I choose the name Persephone because her story exemplifies my Taurus/Scorpio nodal axis. I can also relate, having spent time between two "worlds" during the year. The name itself sounds sexy, and I am very much about sexy things. Persephone Astrology also kinda rhymes and has 8 syllables, which is my favorite number.

Thanks for visiting!

-Shade