Eclipse Energy

Eclipse energy is always a threshold...ending and beginning. The most noticeable influence was in the dating world, since that's where most of my focus has been. In the week leading up to Saturday, I seemed to find a peace. At first, all my first dates were cancelling before our second date. Then, I stopped caring, and just dropped any flakes or reschedules. There wasn't some grand epiphany or emotional event, I just didn't care.

I've been spending a lot of time with a co-worker, and we've let our mutual interest be known, even though she is in a (bad?) relationship. I like her but my emotional wisdom has built a moat. I thought maybe we would get intimate Saturday or that she may have ended her situation, due to the energy of the eclipse. Instead, we continued to connect deeply but as we sat in the park, I felt awkward. We couldn't see the moon. My energy was indecisive and after a while, I couldn't really speak.

After we parted ways, I was very reflective. Not so much about her, but my life in general. I felt slightly disappointed, more resigned. "This Uranus conjunct Moon energy! Curses!" I felt as if a great wind was blowing through my life, blowing everything I want away. But my perception shifted the next morning. I needed to widen my perspective, which is Uranus' function. I did a tarot spread, asking what was up in my love life. At first, I tried to make the cards fit what I was feeling but then, as the day went on, they opened me up to a new possibility.

I realized that if there is a great wind, I should build sails!! Strong ones!! Love is a tempest. I've been begging for it all this time but too blind and lazy to actually deal with it. Following the path of least resistance. I needed to focus on my higher purpose again. Finding happiness within myself. Otherwise, I will not have the strength to navigate the vicissitudes of love. I had to understand that I could lose as well, for love always involves risk. And by love, I mean in the highest sense, which also includes love for self.

I feel this amazing potential for deep connection with my co-worker, and I almost tried to have another conversation around how I feel. But now, I'm just going to see how things develop. Not in a passive sense, but in a patient sense. Talking about crossing a bridge isn't crossing it and some things are better left unsaid. She has fixed energy for sure (Taurus Sun, Aquarius Moon) which can be tough for me, as I am very fiery (fast/action oriented, Air/Fire). I am trusting the universe...not that I will get what I want, but that the experience will be meaningful. I feel like I've separated myself from the outcome.The one thing I do hope, is that wherever our relationship goes, we have mutual feelings.

My sails are up! I'm the captain of the ship!