This is one of the cards I usually hope doesn't come up in a reading (along with the 10 of swords). Swords are the least 'positive' of all the tarot suits. A lot of fear comes up when this card surfaces, particularly because putting a positive spin on it feels like a miserable attempt...denial. With tarot, I find myself trying to reconcile divination vs. fatalism vs. truth. I have also only been doing self readings, which lack more of the objectivity I would have reading for someone else. Join me in demystifying this card a bit.
In this card is the cruelty inherent in humanity...everyone possesses it. Cruelty we inflict on others, others inflict on us, and inflict on ourselves. There is oppression and tyranny, a reminder of just how dark we can be. While horrific acts of violence and torture still take place in our world today, more than likely this refers to ourselves. This is the horror of our own minds (swords=air=mind/intellect), suffering that cannot be escaped simply by rationalizing. So in a way, what I said earlier about being unable to put a positive spin on this card is true.
In the Rider-Waite deck, the image on this card shows a woman awakening from a nightmare. Even though nightmares aren't real, the mind makes them 'real', producing fear and anxiety. This card can signal the torture of endlessly worrying about a situation...and the possibility of that anxiety being a self-fulfilling prophecy. So there is a warning: if you continue to agonize over this situation, your worst fear could become reality. What is the absolute truth? No matter what the situation is, there is always a potential for failure, disappointment, or things not going according to plan.
Most of my readings have been regarding a developing relationship with a co-worker. The readings have been very positive and accurate....which has somehow led to more skepticism. Even after getting this card in position 10 (final outcome in Celtic Cross), I did a few more clarifying drawings...which were again overwhelmingly positive. Yet, here I am, attaching myself to this card, as if to say 'ha! I knew it! I don't deserve this wonderful potential outcome because the reality is, my love life is torture!'.
The primary emotions in this card are anger and anxiety, I see a very active disturbance, just as one would have during a nightmare. I say this to distinguish from the 3 of swords, Sorrow, which carries a lot of disappointment and despair. This is active pain we feel while being tormented, not the coping or despondence afterwards. Not the pain that is so bad we wouldn't wish it on someone else, but the pain so bad we would inflict on someone else. Cyclical vengeance.
What is the advice then? Life isn't fair, so how do we respond? We cannot allow our fear to control us, that is no way to live! Something terrible could happen at any moment, and all of us experience this at some (several) point. There is also a dark truth connected to nature: look at the carnivore. A deer being torn apart by a pack of wolves may be a gruesome sight but that's how they survive. Our conscience/ethics/morals will not feed those wolves, in the same way that we cannot think ourselves out of our pain or find reason in the pain we experience. Survival of the fittest.
The ten of swords (Ruin) shows an end but the nine isn't quite there yet. Sometimes, the cruelest fate is to survive. But this being an active form of suffering could really signal a tough time, weathering the storm, going through what feels like a string of bad luck. When I start doing readings for others, the questions I ask will be very important. To myself now, I ask: what is my fear around this relationship with her? Self-sabotage, stemming from a belief that I don't deserve this right now and/or it will end badly. And to myself, I advise: the mind is powerful and nothing predicts the future like your beliefs. There is always risk when true love is involved...love til it hurts! Be open, you may be surprised at how much you grow! Release yourself from the (worry of) outcome...stop overanalyzing, living in your mind. Trust your instincts and intuition. Being able to love (and live) fully is a much greater victory than her becoming my girlfriend or not!
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