Monday, March 16, 2015

From Dark to Light: Solar Eclipse in Pisces


The solar eclipse on March 20th will be in Pisces, the sign of spirituality, imagination, and intuition. Eclipses, particularly solar, signal necessary change or crisis. I don't like gloom-and-doom fatalistic approaches to astrology ("you will have an accident today") but needed change isn't often ushered in gently. The Sun, which is our recognizable way of being, is being blocked by our "darkness" or our unrecognizable ways of being. You know, those patterns we fall into but can't recognize without a mirror of some sort. In Buddhism, this falls under karma (though it can mean positive or negative, here I am referring to patterns of action that produced undesired results aka suffering).

I believe the 'event' is as jarring as it needs to be to focus on your attention on the shadow. I also believe its not just one singular event, but many hints for a few weeks that culminate in a larger one if not heeded. For example, the last few weeks I was striking out with women but wasn't recognizing the underlying cause and instead chalked it up to the "rigors of dating." But last Friday (the 13th!) I had an event which illuminated the unrecognizable way of being, which was being my own worst enemy.

So, where exactly do I need to focus? Wherever the eclipse falls is where attention needs to flow. Mine falls in the 6th house, which deals with health, work, and routine. I had recently changed my diet, which has been paying off and it's only getting better. But I had also recently gotten back into weed and ecstasy, which abruptly stopped after that horrible experience Friday. I am not satisfied with work...my potential is underutilized, I am not making enough to live the way I want and I'm working too many hours. I am not going to quit my job but I am getting more serious (my consciousness is filled with more thoughts of) career fulfillment.

6th house is also about spiritual service and health, not just the physical. Makes sense that I became more diligent with my Buddhist practice. The 'sun' of chasing women was eclipsed by the 'moon' of greater purpose. Yesterday I realized how on fire with desire I was. That's a romantic way to put it, I would say more like bondage, attachment to the point of obscuring my perception. I did the exact same thing (working at the same company) about 4 years ago and had to leave the company because of a bad decision I made. Wow, I just got the warning: if I pursue romantic relationships at work, it could threaten my employment. I will no longer be my worst enemy.

The eclipse also coincides with the beginning of spring. In my branch of Buddhism, we have a saying: winter always turns to spring. It means that no matter how harsh of a suffering we go through, we can always triumph. Clearly, this Friday will be a turning point. 6 months ago, I experienced the turbulence of the lunar eclipse that really shook things up. The 'baggage' from all that is really starting to clear up. Baggage for me is usually resentment which is like vengeance fuel, but being able to progress with more positive motivation is much better. After experiencing the depth of suffering I did the last few days, it made me want to help others who are suffering. It made me re-focus on my greater mission, not just my own fulfillment in work, love, etc.

There is more coolness to my soul in the last day or two. I feel I am really transforming for the better. Sobriety is the best thing for me, and even though I wish I hadn't screwed up that date, I am grateful for this result. I felt a wound in my soul a few days ago, it was absolutely horrific. Sure, we could say it was the crash after using E 2 days in a row but it was much deeper than that. Now, I am focused on myself, in the sense that I am not trying to use drugs, women, or anything else to fill that void or make me happy. I am making my decisions independent of everyone else's, in line with my chosen path in life. 6 months from now, I can safely predict that these changes will manifest very positive results ( I want to live on my own and the lease here is up in August).

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