Uranus Conjunct Moon: Part 1 (The Vent)

First of all, Uranus cannot be overestimated. Upheaval is not a gentle adjective. 'Unexpected' leaves more room for interpretation but should be reserved for say...Uranus sextile Jupiter. Uranus opposite Ascendant, Uranus opposite Mars, Uranus trine Mercury...I'm experiencing all of the above. Right now.

To say that my experiences with women have been frustrating would be an understatement. I don't lose my cool too much anyway but its been disturbing, particularly in the dating department. I really need to focus on myself, as cliche as that may sound. Dating is highly likely to distract me from my growth process. The universe has made this easy.

A few weeks ago, I got it. I realized that I wasn't having much success romantically because I've been doing what I've always done and I needed the space to change. I was slipping back into relationship-dependency and this time, it wasn't going to happen. Abandoned conversations (online dating), date flake-outs (both me and them), erratic responses (texts from one girl I've dated a few times, the ex). Now it's time to vent about the ex. Don't worry, I'll make it brief.

Cliff notes: I was supposed to meet her just to pay a tab at the store she works. When I went, she wasn't there and her co-worker says she no call no showed and was concerned. I tried to contact her...no answer. She has a history of depression and my worst fear is her committing suicide. I immediately jumped in my car and drove 45 minutes to her house. Saw her car outside, tried calling and again. After calling and texting, I called the police. At this point I'm entertaining the worst possibilities.

The officer bangs on the outside door, gets let in and bangs on her door...no answer. Then he bangs on the front door, and she comes to answer. Immediately I smile, my heart leaps. She's OK! Then her...boyfriend situation walks out behind her. That was another worst case scenario. I shake his hand. Say I just wanted to make sure she was OK, and drive home. INFURIATED.

I didn't care that she was with him. I really want nothing from her, just her well-being. But this feels so selfish and I'm done. I can no longer worry about her. I will continue to pray for her, but I want nothing to do with her. This is the abusive ex that I have been told about time and time again by women too many.

I will have to redefine what it means to be involved. I will have to redefine boundaries. I will have to redefine compassion. Ultimately, these things make me stronger, so I appreciate them. Not so much now but eventually, I'll calm down and be able to encourage someone else in a similar situation.

Uranus shakes things up...upheaval is right on the money. Ironically, I started reading a book called 'No More Mr. Nice Guy' last week. Mars in Libra, I'll go out on a limb and say its the typical nice guy placement. With Uranus opposing it, conjunct Moon, I am in for a hell of a time...