Searching...

Apollo wants Daphne and just as he almost has her, she cries out to her father, who transforms her into a tree. Almost! Of course, there's a lot more to that story but I see myself in Apollo's role, sort of.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm searching for Spock out here! Holding onto hope that each planet is just one closer to my goal, I continue to enterprise. How do I make sense of it all? I think this is a basic question astrologers entertain and contemplate daily. It is a quintessential quandary for all mankind that we answer using the language of astrology, no matter how large or small our universe at the moment.

As I begin to confront the reality of choosing a path, my approach to love and relationships takes on a new significance. It feels as if I can't afford to vacillate, "choose it or lose it." One such issue is children. If I want to have 3-5 children, as I have often considered, then at 28, it is time to get started. If I want to only have 1 or 2, more time can be afforded. The issue of children becomes a central issue within itself...is this woman open to having to children, vehemently opposed, or ready to have one tomorrow? Things change and I don't want to overthink but the reality is that it is a serious consideration, at least it feels this way now.

I have thought about astrological compatibility since I first began dabbling with the subject. I have had the privilege of dating almost every sign, so that I have actual experiential impressions to project with. One point of interest has been the role of cusps, as I have had longer relationships with women born on a cusp. Another has been modality, since I've noticed more compatibility with Fixed signs. Some quick stats: 1st* girlfriend Nov. 21 (Scorpio) 3 years, 2nd girlfriend Aug. 22 (Leo) 3 years, last girlfriend Apr. 21 (Taurus) 3 months. I know 3 months isn't as long as 3 years but I'm only 28 and have only had so many girlfriends (lots and lots of dates though).

Constantly in motion, I believe Fixed signs provide the respite to sustain the immense and often scattered energy I put out. Other Mutable signs create a volatile combination that isn't sustainable and all too familiar. Cardinal signs, hmmm. I seem to get annoyed or tired out by them. Just want to reiterate, this is all in a romantic context. I don't want all the Mutable and Cardinal signs coming for my head!

I have 2 dates today, a Scorpio (non-cusp) and an Aries (cusp). It is my second date with the Scorpio, who is a very nice woman. 30, no kids, schoolteacher, a classic beauty. With Scorpios, I never notice an outright spark...it is more of a slow burn. We had tea and took a short walk, no make out sessions. I had a very sexually intense relationship with my Scorpio girlfriend but it took time, lots of trust. Nothing happens quickly with Scorpio, and it always feels very deliberate.

I think this Aries is going to cancel but we'll see. On paper, she seems great. I find her attractive (she was actually my nurse last year!) and we have a pretty fun interaction. I looked at our charts and we're super compatible but that has happened many times before and gone nowhere.

My energy has been wild. Some days, it is very masculine, aggressive, and intense (like last Friday). Others, very still and passive. Today, I feel calmer but that could all change when Uranus is visiting. It is a 1 day, with Venus Trining natal Uranus, which spells newness and excitement seeking. It would be quite exciting to know after today, that I am involved in a relationship that will last longer than 2 dates! Short relationships have been the norm lately

*I had 2 girlfriends before her. My 1st was a Capricorn but I was young and it only lasted a few weeks. My *realer" 1st was a Sagittarius and we had a 3-month long-distance relationship when I was in college. We lost our virginity together and I (we?) was very much in love.

Saturn Approaches: The Fork in the Road

Gone are the days of "good" and "bad" people. Actually, it's less about "people" and more about me. I can no longer delude myself by counting another's wealth and thinking I'm rich. I see 2 paths, clear as daylight and it is time to choose.

I was writing descriptions of the 2 paths but it doesn't matter. That is my own internal struggle. What does matter is the awareness. I think major transits ask questions, whether we understand the language or not. Makes sense why Dane Rudhyar said 'Events don't happen to people, people happen to events," because it is up to us to answer.

For me (lately), there is some responsibility and either someone invites me to party or I invite myself to party. I have to decide how seriously to take my obligations. Yes, I can prep last minute and do a fine job in the morning. But I could also get a full nights rest and set myself up a lot better. Just because you should, doesn't mean you should.

Nowhere have things become more starkly apparent, than my romantic life. I think beyond the relationship itself, considering its impact. It's not just about playing house, its about my mission. I'm asking myself, why do I want to get married? Why do I want to have children? Not simply going along with it because that's what grown-ups do. My mission on this earth, my path, is deciding what relationships I form, not the other way around.

I have Saturn Conjuncting Venus right now, and my aesthetic values have begun to sharpen and crystallize. Above is a sculpture by Gian Lorenzo Bernini, a fellow Sagittarian, and I love all of his work. The image at the top is L'Estasi di Santa Teresa, one of Bernini's masterpieces. I also like Leonid Afremov's oil paintings...all of them. Jupiter is also trining Venus, which would explain the expansion into fine art.

This "fork" effect could also be the result of both Saturn and Jupiter acting on Venus at the same time. Saturn is saying be conservative, Jupiter is saying turn up! I had a similar concurrence last year, except I don't remember feeling so dramatic. A big difference is that both of these are on their "3rd pass:" they were forward, then went retrograde, and now are moving forward for good. The familiarity elucidates the pattern, carving the "path" all the more clearer. I am also only 7 months from Saturn returning, so there is an added sense of gravity.

Will I experience some profound ecstasy a la Saint Teresa? Uranus is asking me about a new pattern as well. What else can I say but stay tuned!

May Predictions

This is a critical month! Unemployment has run out and I need to get working ASAP. Venus energy is running high. Uranus energy is running high. 1 months are all about independence, assertiveness, and new beginnings AKA everything Aries. Mars finally goes direct in the latter part of the month. The weather is warmer. Love is in the air and the students are leaving town. Things get intense from the middle to latter part of the month.

If I were to translate this month to a phrase: Lots of unexpected opportunities and conflicts with women, which results in a new structure. I want to begin a new career and relationship. I'm ready!

Jupiter Trine Venus
Been eating and drinking a lot more lately. Have been more creative and extravagant with spending. "I just wanna party." I want this to translate positive monetarily/career wise!

Uranus Trine Mercury (separating)
May travel more than usual. My love for "rare" words/vocabulary has been sparked. Been playing with language a lot more lately.

Uranus Conjunct Moon
This influence is getting tiring. I better get used to it though, this is just the first pass! It is feast or famine. Sometimes, I get an avalanche of female attention, others, nothing. It can all dissipate in the course of a day. Lots of flings and things that seem promising but go nowhere or abruptly end. Becoming a little annoyed with one roommate and living with roommates in general. Really tough to establish a routine for anything.

Saturn Conjunct Venus (applying)
I have been having thoughts around what works and what doesn't, as far as relationships. Have been getting practical, tangible advice on artistic creation. Everything Venus is getting much "realer," not so daydreamy. Commitment is sexier than usual. Want to see my artistic endeavors pay off, which I know requires dedication.

5/3 Venus Trine Sun, Saturn (4)
I ended up having a crazy day! Met with an older woman (45) and we hung out for most of the day. We definitely got intimate. Then, I met up with another girl that night and went dancing (which I never do)! We ended up making out and stuff.

5/8 Sun Opposition Venus (9)
This is an opportunity to learn more about myself through my relationships with others. Hidden tensions may also come to the surface, especially with Uranus Conjunct Moon in the background. Good day for company and socializing, with Mercury entering Gemini. May bring out more of a philosophical and existential approach to relationships, a day of understanding rather than "action."

5/8 Mercury Opposition Sun, Saturn (9)
Entering 8th house, this is a day of raising lingering issues and engaging in necessary conflict productively. The key will be to not become discouraged with whatever realizations or feelings come as a result of my interactions and conversations with others. With 2 oppositions occurring and Saturn weighing heavier, this may not be a very "pleasant" day.

5/15 Mercury Opposition Mercury (7)
High-strung mental activity! A clash of the minds perhaps? Like the previous Mercury transit, necessary conversations need to take place. Plans may not work out as intended due to scheduling conflicts.

5/15 Venus Trine Mercury (7)
Great day for socializing and communicating feelings. Traditionally, this is seen as a pleasant influence but in light of the concurrent Mercury transit, it may be a mollifier for a not-so-pleasant exchange.

5/16 Venus Conjunct Moon (8)
Uranus and Venus both conjunct Moon in Aries on an 8 day...sounds explosive! It will be the beginning of the weekend, and spring is in full swing. I am going to a Buddhist meeting in the evening with other young folks. There is no way something WON'T happen, with all this Aries energy converging. I doubt something will happen at that meeting, because I won't really want it to.  I will only expect the unexpected...Moon will be in Sagittarius from 15th to 17th, so feelings are expanded and opportunities are plenty.

5/17 Mercury Opposition Uranus (9)
Heavy mental stimulation; excitement seeking. More openness to something unexpected. Things may escalate quickly. 

5/17 Venus Opposition Mars (9)
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. This is sexual tension at its finest! Due to the cluster of transits occurring in such a close span, I am confident something significant will transpire romantically. As of now, I have no clear-cut romantic interest, although I have been seeking more seriously lately. On 2nd thought, there is a situation with mutual interest that hasn't seem to go anywhere due to scheduling difficulties. In light of the grand scheme of things, this may be a purely physical/temporary arrangement (as everything has been in the last year or so!). Since 9 completes a cycle, this may be the result of something on the 8th.

5/18 Venus Trine Uranus (1)
More excitement on the social/romantic front. Something happens and all signs are pointing to something unexpected and ephemeral. I'm just gonna make things easy for myself and simply remember to enjoy the ride!

5/20 Mars goes direct (3)
Mars won't resume normal pace until early June. May be a time when a period of low-energy and introspection finally begins to yield more in the way of action. Time to move forward. Since my Mars is in Libra, and this is a 3 day, I think there is a significance for me, creatively. A time of clarity, at least until Mercury goes retrograde in June. 

5/21 Sun Opposition Sun, Saturn (4)
Dovetailing Mars going direct, I see a creative climax. A crucial moment, in which I am aware of the structures and limitations that inhibit my progress. I see a breakthrough, perhaps a clash with authority or other males. 

April Predictions

So, it is April 1st and I feel invigorated! It is a 1 day in a 9 month. According to my numerology book, April and May of this year are supposed to be the craziest! My mind is very much occupied with a sustainable career in the entertainment/art industry. Everything else...just living. Not very girl-crazy right now, though the prospect of a new relationship still excites me. It is getting warmer and I want to come out and play this year! My diet has taken on much more concern. Overall, I really desire the next phase of my life. I want to experience a level of fulfillment beyond what I've known, in every area of life. I want to live on my own. Really just want to come into my own. I have been making consistent efforts to change my lifestyle, and I have a feeling this is the month things transition for good.

The major celestial influence this year and especially April and May, is Uranus. I feel like it is crunch time. Unemployment will run out soon, so my career has to get started. But I'm not settling. No more jobs. Only something to build a career. Career/money are my major concerns this month, just to give an idea of my direction/momentum. Unless Mercury is retrograde, I usually only pay attention to Sun, Venus, Mars and outer planet transits. Eclipses are sometimes of note to me as well.

4 Neptune Trine Pluto (separating) Things that may have been too intense to sort out before,  become clearer as the month rolls on. I see this as a new level of faith emerging from the struggle I went through before. Like, all the suffering and angst are now raw material to create with. Less confusion, more insight and articulation.

4 Uranus Trine Mercury This is a time of learning...I'm in a much different space than I was in January. I'm picking things up quickly, my mind racing out into the world. Things are easier to connect. Good time for creativity and unconventional thinking.

4/1 Sun Sextile Jupiter (1) Magnanimous feelings and indulgent attitude. I feel like it's my lucky day and anything can happen! I just got paid too...although, I haven't gone too crazy because I have too many bills. My ex from the beginning, I'm talking from back in high school, is supposed to be coming over. A girl I have more interest in, tomorrow. I feel a healthy amount of idealism and feel this month is mine to seize!

4/3 Sun Trine Mercury (3) I'm sure this will be a creative day, full of ideas and mental activity. Keyword will be focus. Great day to reach out and feel my words really aligning with who I am.

4/5 Sun Trine Moon (5) Harmony, warm feelings. It will be Saturday. Good day to go exploring or on an adventure, especially with friends.

4/6-7 Sun Opposite Mars (6-7) Going to NYC this day, riding in a car with other good (male) friends. Will have to watch for ego/control/power scenarios for sure! Game of Thrones premiers later that night! Yessss, who's got HBO??

4/6 Venus Square Sun, Saturn (6) Not ideal for working with others. Considering the above scenario, I will need to really be aware during the road trip, as well as any potential interactions later.

4/7 Sun Trine Uranus (7) I can see this day having a high degree of individualism and feeling rebellious or confrontational. Wanting newness and embracing unconventionality. Maybe a very spiritual and faith filled day, as it would be the day after NYC. A new mindset or attitude towards life.

4/11 Venus Trine Pluto (2) One of my favorite transits, very sexy! It is a Friday and I can see myself either going out to socialize or spending time with someone I like or have history with. I feel like Pluto is very past-heavy, so Venus may resurrect romantic feelings thought long dead. Whenever I see Venus and Pluto hook-up, lust is the first thing to pop in my head.

4/14-16 Mars Conjunct Mars (5-7) This looks to be the start of an energetic week! Although, Mars is retrograde so that could be a bit of frustration. Good week for physical activity. Explosive and virile.

4/17-19 Mars Opposition Moon (8-1) Second half of the week, through the weekend, this could very well spell conflict with women. 8-1 looks like a valuable experience leading to transformation/new beginning. Likely not an optimal time to get involved in new relationships.

4/18 Venus Square Mercury (9) Occurring during the previous transit, any kind of mental discipline or restraint may prove very difficult. Maybe I'm more liberal in speaking my mind, which may stir conflict with the opposite sex. Could also be unrealistic expectations, tension between feelings and logic.

4/22 Venus Trine Venus, Square Uranus (4) Flirtatious, wanting to bust out of old patterns of relationships. Surrendering completely to feeling and disregarding the norm. Sun will be in Taurus, this could be a very decadent time. I get paid this day and may feel inclined to indulge after, what could be, a rough week.

4/26 Sun Opposition Pluto (8) Intensity, ambitions realized. Power is the keyword this day. Who knows what will happen with this one?

4/30 Sun Conjunct North Node (3) Lesson learned. Feeling destined for greatness. I have begun my career and feel I've reached a new plateau of self-awareness. Looking forward to the next phase of my life, with Saturn returning in less than 8 months.

The question is: If May brings a new beginning, how will I close this chapter? I can't do the same things anymore. More and more, I feel the need to kick it into another gear. Success is on my mind but it takes discipline and steady effort to materialize. Patience is a key word, regarding romance. Next month is a lot more conducive to beginning a new relationship, but some groundwork can be laid in this one. Beginning a new exercise regimen will pay off sooner than expected.

Back in Eden

Ahhh what a difference a few months makes! There is a deep transformation taking place but it isn't as frustrating now as it was a few months...even a few weeks back. I haven't been as focused on astrology lately but I'm a little more open now. I have my own laptop, which has sucked my soul away since I haven't had one in 6 or 7 years. I just want to catch up with you a bit and look ahead to the next couple of months.

So, with Uranus conjuncting Moon, my relations with women have become more unstable. Nothing crazy, because I don't really produce those kinds of reactions form people nor do I get too crazy. I hit on ALL the girls at a local Dunkin Donuts pretty much. In retrospect, those were more acts of desperation than calculated attempts to court, if there is such a thing. There was another girl who I was pursuing but that ran flat, as I withdrew due to age difference and framing myself as a sucker (i.e. paying for stuff I don't have to pay for). I hooked up with an ex and may hook up with another ex in the coming week. I really don't care...

My focus has been shifting more and more to myself. I got this book called "The Erotic Mind," which is helping me get more in touch with that part of myself. What are my turn-ons? Fantasies? One major revelation is that some fantasies are just that..fantasies. They don't need to be fulfilled and would cease to exist if they were. Erotic fantasies are not so much "teases" and more of a healthy expression of sexuality and imagination now. This is translating to my relationship with women, as I become more comfortable allowing myself to be attracted without trying to bed them all! Venus enters Pisces next month, which will trine my natal Venus and and Pluto. With the Sun in Aries and spring around the corner, new love is almost inevitable. However, May will be a 1 month (new beginnings) and Venus will join my Moon and Uranus in Aries, so it is more likely to materialize then. Jupiter will also be separating from a square to my Moon mid-May.

Professionally, I've embraced my artist side. This is what I'm here to do. It is scary, exhilarating, healing, fulfilling, everything! I actually had my first acting audition today and didn't do too bad! I got a rush! Been getting into music more. Definitely writing but easing back into producing. Screenwriting is something I've definitely taken on. The feeling I get just typing this is undeniable. This is my life path. I've tried the safe one, it didn't work. Remember? Jupiter has gone direct in my 10th house and is due to cross my MC in May/June (going by whole sign houses).

Health wise, I've been good and bad. Had jock itch for the first time a few weeks ago and it was so gross!!!! I'm battling a sinus infection/cold now. On the other hand, I've taken on the challenge of living a healthier lifestyle. Drinking a lot less and not really eating meat. Lately I've been thinking about doing rec drugs again (ecstasy, shrooms) but they're just thoughts. Neptune is in my 6th house and I'd rather have it in my 5th but happy it isn't in my 7th! I'm thinking of Neptune in its creative sense and considering the 6th is a house of duty/routine/work, makes sense I'm pursuing a career in the arts. Art is one of the few things really motivating these days.

Was that too many details? I definitely left a few out! I'm just glad to be back. Tomorrow I'll take a look at April and make some predictions.

Smile!

2014: Uranian Revolution

To end 2013, from Dec. 14-Jan 4, I had 4 romantic encounters with 4 different women every weekend. No, I don't mean 4 each weekend, but 1 every consecutive weekend. Most affairs, I couldn't see lasting long-term anyway. Then, 2 days ago, my ex...after leaving in the middle of the night to see her "situation" messaged me. I didn't know what to think, I didn't think we would ever talk again. Coincidentally, I had read about Venus retrograde earlier that day, which mentioned old lovers resurfacing.

In the broader view, according to the whole sign house system, Uranus entered my 7th house around the end of 2011. Since then, I have had so many romantic relationships and dates, the longest lasting 3 months. As Uranus gets closer to my moon and ascendant, the frequency of these encounters appears to be increasing. Today, I spoke with my ex about...having a baby. Yes, a baby. I must be crazy.

This is a 5 year for me, numerologically, which holds great change, excitement, unpredictability and expansion. This all sounds very Uranian, except for expansion, which is more Jupiterian (Jupiter just separated from a Venus trine but will trine again later this year and I have gained 30-40 lbs.!) I definitely feel like I'm on the edge of something great, my optimism won't allow me to think otherwise.

I've given up predicting what will occur from 2014's major upcoming transits (Uranus Conjunct Moon, Opposition Mars, Trine Mercury, Sextile Jupiter, Jupiter Trine Venus, Conjunct MC, Saturn Returns, Neptune Trine Pluto). All I know is that by the time the year is over, my life will have changed dramatically. In the interim, I've been keeping a journal and detailing the aftermath. I hope that my vigilance will contribute to advancing astrology and helping others in similar situations.

Down the Worm Whole: Whole Sign Houses

Whoa. After listening to an @astrologycast podcast featuring Robert Hand, I decided to do a little research on whole sign houses. Whole sign houses are the oldest and original way that houses were delineated. Basically, one sign to one house. The Ascendant and Midheaven stay the same...but instead of being used as cusps for the 1st and 10th houses respectively, they are sensitive angles in the chart. I decided to try this with my own chart and my oh my was it an eye opener.

There were 5 shifts: Sun and Saturn moved to my 3rd, Jupiter to my 5th, Neptune to my 4th and Pluto to my 2nd. All of them make more sense then their original (Placidus) positions. I've always been plagued by financial issues, so the 2nd house with Sun, Venus, Saturn and Mercury seemed to make sense. However, in a way, I've made it make sense. It's like the MBTI tests, sometimes we pick the answers of how we want to be, not how we are. Accepting the Placidus house system as law, I've forced my perception to accept it. But now, the earth is no longer flat nor is it the center of the universe. Pluto in the 2nd makes more sense, as it explains my financial issues more accurately.

Intuitively, I've always felt like my Jupiter position was off as well. In the 5th, it makes much more sense. I am an artist, through and through. Neptune moving into the 4th, explains a lot more, especially my relationship with my father (and mother). Sun and Saturn into the 3rd also fits better, as communication is always something I've been very self-conscious about. My original positions weren't outrageously off the mark, and still hold some truth. It is just that with the whole sign house system, everything is much clearer. It is like outgrowing an old eye prescription...the adjustment in perception provides clarity.

I will continue to study astrology but now, I understand that it is more in self-interest. I'm not very interested in doing consultations. I'm also not very interested in authoring or teaching like I once aspired. It is more of an interest and hobby. Palmistry on the other hand, I may get back into..still, a hobby. On to the music and the films and such! This is by no means goodbye...I will continue to write. I am eager to share my personal experiences with transits with everyone!