Back in Eden

Ahhh what a difference a few months makes! There is a deep transformation taking place but it isn't as frustrating now as it was a few months...even a few weeks back. I haven't been as focused on astrology lately but I'm a little more open now. I have my own laptop, which has sucked my soul away since I haven't had one in 6 or 7 years. I just want to catch up with you a bit and look ahead to the next couple of months.

So, with Uranus conjuncting Moon, my relations with women have become more unstable. Nothing crazy, because I don't really produce those kinds of reactions form people nor do I get too crazy. I hit on ALL the girls at a local Dunkin Donuts pretty much. In retrospect, those were more acts of desperation than calculated attempts to court, if there is such a thing. There was another girl who I was pursuing but that ran flat, as I withdrew due to age difference and framing myself as a sucker (i.e. paying for stuff I don't have to pay for). I hooked up with an ex and may hook up with another ex in the coming week. I really don't care...

My focus has been shifting more and more to myself. I got this book called "The Erotic Mind," which is helping me get more in touch with that part of myself. What are my turn-ons? Fantasies? One major revelation is that some fantasies are just that..fantasies. They don't need to be fulfilled and would cease to exist if they were. Erotic fantasies are not so much "teases" and more of a healthy expression of sexuality and imagination now. This is translating to my relationship with women, as I become more comfortable allowing myself to be attracted without trying to bed them all! Venus enters Pisces next month, which will trine my natal Venus and and Pluto. With the Sun in Aries and spring around the corner, new love is almost inevitable. However, May will be a 1 month (new beginnings) and Venus will join my Moon and Uranus in Aries, so it is more likely to materialize then. Jupiter will also be separating from a square to my Moon mid-May.

Professionally, I've embraced my artist side. This is what I'm here to do. It is scary, exhilarating, healing, fulfilling, everything! I actually had my first acting audition today and didn't do too bad! I got a rush! Been getting into music more. Definitely writing but easing back into producing. Screenwriting is something I've definitely taken on. The feeling I get just typing this is undeniable. This is my life path. I've tried the safe one, it didn't work. Remember? Jupiter has gone direct in my 10th house and is due to cross my MC in May/June (going by whole sign houses).

Health wise, I've been good and bad. Had jock itch for the first time a few weeks ago and it was so gross!!!! I'm battling a sinus infection/cold now. On the other hand, I've taken on the challenge of living a healthier lifestyle. Drinking a lot less and not really eating meat. Lately I've been thinking about doing rec drugs again (ecstasy, shrooms) but they're just thoughts. Neptune is in my 6th house and I'd rather have it in my 5th but happy it isn't in my 7th! I'm thinking of Neptune in its creative sense and considering the 6th is a house of duty/routine/work, makes sense I'm pursuing a career in the arts. Art is one of the few things really motivating these days.

Was that too many details? I definitely left a few out! I'm just glad to be back. Tomorrow I'll take a look at April and make some predictions.

Smile!

2014: Uranian Revolution

To end 2013, from Dec. 14-Jan 4, I had 4 romantic encounters with 4 different women every weekend. No, I don't mean 4 each weekend, but 1 every consecutive weekend. Most affairs, I couldn't see lasting long-term anyway. Then, 2 days ago, my ex...after leaving in the middle of the night to see her "situation" messaged me. I didn't know what to think, I didn't think we would ever talk again. Coincidentally, I had read about Venus retrograde earlier that day, which mentioned old lovers resurfacing.

In the broader view, according to the whole sign house system, Uranus entered my 7th house around the end of 2011. Since then, I have had so many romantic relationships and dates, the longest lasting 3 months. As Uranus gets closer to my moon and ascendant, the frequency of these encounters appears to be increasing. Today, I spoke with my ex about...having a baby. Yes, a baby. I must be crazy.

This is a 5 year for me, numerologically, which holds great change, excitement, unpredictability and expansion. This all sounds very Uranian, except for expansion, which is more Jupiterian (Jupiter just separated from a Venus trine but will trine again later this year and I have gained 30-40 lbs.!) I definitely feel like I'm on the edge of something great, my optimism won't allow me to think otherwise.

I've given up predicting what will occur from 2014's major upcoming transits (Uranus Conjunct Moon, Opposition Mars, Trine Mercury, Sextile Jupiter, Jupiter Trine Venus, Conjunct MC, Saturn Returns, Neptune Trine Pluto). All I know is that by the time the year is over, my life will have changed dramatically. In the interim, I've been keeping a journal and detailing the aftermath. I hope that my vigilance will contribute to advancing astrology and helping others in similar situations.

Down the Worm Whole: Whole Sign Houses

Whoa. After listening to an @astrologycast podcast featuring Robert Hand, I decided to do a little research on whole sign houses. Whole sign houses are the oldest and original way that houses were delineated. Basically, one sign to one house. The Ascendant and Midheaven stay the same...but instead of being used as cusps for the 1st and 10th houses respectively, they are sensitive angles in the chart. I decided to try this with my own chart and my oh my was it an eye opener.

There were 5 shifts: Sun and Saturn moved to my 3rd, Jupiter to my 5th, Neptune to my 4th and Pluto to my 2nd. All of them make more sense then their original (Placidus) positions. I've always been plagued by financial issues, so the 2nd house with Sun, Venus, Saturn and Mercury seemed to make sense. However, in a way, I've made it make sense. It's like the MBTI tests, sometimes we pick the answers of how we want to be, not how we are. Accepting the Placidus house system as law, I've forced my perception to accept it. But now, the earth is no longer flat nor is it the center of the universe. Pluto in the 2nd makes more sense, as it explains my financial issues more accurately.

Intuitively, I've always felt like my Jupiter position was off as well. In the 5th, it makes much more sense. I am an artist, through and through. Neptune moving into the 4th, explains a lot more, especially my relationship with my father (and mother). Sun and Saturn into the 3rd also fits better, as communication is always something I've been very self-conscious about. My original positions weren't outrageously off the mark, and still hold some truth. It is just that with the whole sign house system, everything is much clearer. It is like outgrowing an old eye prescription...the adjustment in perception provides clarity.

I will continue to study astrology but now, I understand that it is more in self-interest. I'm not very interested in doing consultations. I'm also not very interested in authoring or teaching like I once aspired. It is more of an interest and hobby. Palmistry on the other hand, I may get back into..still, a hobby. On to the music and the films and such! This is by no means goodbye...I will continue to write. I am eager to share my personal experiences with transits with everyone!

Uranus Conjunct Moon: Part 2 (New Habits)

To address my last saga briefly, turns out, it was actually my fault. My pattern, my habit, my M.O., was always to worry about my exes safety. Yes, I understand caring for someone is natural but if you always assume the worst for them and act predominately out of that fear, it creates a helicopter-parent-like dynamic. She had called out of work that day...her co-worker was misinformed, I simply reacted to her worry with the worry I already have towards my ex. If I had waited til later that day, she would've likely responded after separating from her...situation. I recognized that even though my intentions were noble, I was acting out the same established pattern towards her and an "event" (Uranus conjunct Moon) allowed me to recognize it consciously.

The Moon, can represent women as well as patterns/habits, and the home, etc. I've started to notice my pattern of interpreting transits. Bias! When it seems advantageous, I want the Moon to represent women. When it seems disadvantageous, I want the Moon to represent everything but women! I "interact"with transits expecting them to deliver what I want. However, when I just "live my life" aware of the overarching themes astrologically, I tend to have more fun! Or I should say, I tend to experience the transit effects more.

This tends to impart an optimism that I normally take for an excuse to not do anything and just wait for things to happen. The mistaken assumption is that something outside myself is going to deliver me money or from whatever I'm going through at the time. Truth is, although the planets are "out there," they're also, "in here." A vibrant cosmos pulsates within! I think that when I live my life without being so caught up in the details of expectations, my inner universe harmonizes more with the outer universe.

To state the obvious, Uranus' effects are unexpected, so thinking that I could expect and control the transit was a mistake. That is my advice to all with Uranus transits, echoing every astrologer I've read so far. Expect the unexpected. Knowing what is going on is certainly helpful but beyond that, you won't know how much has happened until it's over.

Uranus Conjunct Moon: Part 1 (The Vent)

First of all, Uranus cannot be overestimated. Upheaval is not a gentle adjective. 'Unexpected' leaves more room for interpretation but should be reserved for say...Uranus sextile Jupiter. Uranus opposite Ascendant, Uranus opposite Mars, Uranus trine Mercury...I'm experiencing all of the above. Right now.

To say that my experiences with women have been frustrating would be an understatement. I don't lose my cool too much anyway but its been disturbing, particularly in the dating department. I really need to focus on myself, as cliche as that may sound. Dating is highly likely to distract me from my growth process. The universe has made this easy.

A few weeks ago, I got it. I realized that I wasn't having much success romantically because I've been doing what I've always done and I needed the space to change. I was slipping back into relationship-dependency and this time, it wasn't going to happen. Abandoned conversations (online dating), date flake-outs (both me and them), erratic responses (texts from one girl I've dated a few times, the ex). Now it's time to vent about the ex. Don't worry, I'll make it brief.

Cliff notes: I was supposed to meet her just to pay a tab at the store she works. When I went, she wasn't there and her co-worker says she no call no showed and was concerned. I tried to contact her...no answer. She has a history of depression and my worst fear is her committing suicide. I immediately jumped in my car and drove 45 minutes to her house. Saw her car outside, tried calling and again. After calling and texting, I called the police. At this point I'm entertaining the worst possibilities.

The officer bangs on the outside door, gets let in and bangs on her door...no answer. Then he bangs on the front door, and she comes to answer. Immediately I smile, my heart leaps. She's OK! Then her...boyfriend situation walks out behind her. That was another worst case scenario. I shake his hand. Say I just wanted to make sure she was OK, and drive home. INFURIATED.

I didn't care that she was with him. I really want nothing from her, just her well-being. But this feels so selfish and I'm done. I can no longer worry about her. I will continue to pray for her, but I want nothing to do with her. This is the abusive ex that I have been told about time and time again by women too many.

I will have to redefine what it means to be involved. I will have to redefine boundaries. I will have to redefine compassion. Ultimately, these things make me stronger, so I appreciate them. Not so much now but eventually, I'll calm down and be able to encourage someone else in a similar situation.

Uranus shakes things up...upheaval is right on the money. Ironically, I started reading a book called 'No More Mr. Nice Guy' last week. Mars in Libra, I'll go out on a limb and say its the typical nice guy placement. With Uranus opposing it, conjunct Moon, I am in for a hell of a time...

Cosmic Chronology

As I was driving along the highway today, I noticed a change in my attitude. Well, I've always know about the change but I made a connection. The moon is the fastest celestial influence in astrology, so it makes sense that it rules reactions. It tells us the initial reaction or place we go to, especially when threatened. Think about Cancer the crab, with its tough shell and claws ready. It just wants to survive, to feel safe. I am very safety cautious when I drive, especially on the highway. It always feels as if my life is on the line, and it is no time for hesitation or pleasantries. I am 100% Aries in this scenario. Everything is happening so fast, I must react in a way I am comfortable. I made this connection as I screeched my brakes at a red light in the city.

Mercury is very fast as well, but not as fast as the moon. Mercury has more time to ponder, to think, to gather information, to consider. Thoughts and communication travel very fast but survival reactions override logic to...ensure our survival: just like a mother, who protects us at all costs. As I considered the relationships of the planets, considering their speed, everything really began to open up for me. I began thinking about all the planets in terms of cycles and the grand cosmic rhythm began to illuminate.

Jupiter takes about 12 years to complete a cycle, which is about a sign/house a year. Let's say the average life is 84 years. That would be 7 chances for expansion/fortune/benefit in any given area of life. People say 7 is a lucky number...Coincidentally, Uranus takes about 84 years to complete its cycle, which is fortunate for an individual lifetime. Uranus is a transpersonal planet that is all about individuality and uniqueness. As a transit, it is said to "speed up" whatever it aspects. Could that speed be a result of awareness around the uniqueness of this lifetime, like a sense of urgency? I believe in reincarnation but that there will only be one me. It would make sense if Uranus was telling me, "hey, this is a once-in-a-lifetime chance to assert your individuality, regardless of societal expectations/limitations (Saturn)."

Pluto takes about 248 years to complete its cycle...which is about 3 lifetimes. Considering Pluto in this light, it makes sense that Pluto, in its grandest sense, is about something bigger than us. Of course, we can consider Pluto's meaning in this lifetime many different ways but it is ultimately about our life in the eternal context. What impact will we leave for future generations? How will we use the power we have been granted as temporary unions of cosmic energy, called human beings, towards our karma, which lasts eternally? How will we transform/change society as individuals and as a collective? We will never see Pluto complete a cycle...the challenge is acting towards selfish ends or selfless goals.

Isn't this amazing to think about? Considering the relative speeds of planetary cycles, it really clarifies their relationship to us. The Sun and Moon correlate to a yearly/monthly rhythm, like two hands on a clock: the sun is the hour, the moon is the minute. The luminaries tell us about daily life, which we can consider in the grander context of our lifetime and beyond, represented by the transpersonal planets (Uranus, Neptune and Pluto).

We respond to the moon's energy via gut or subconscious reaction because it is too quick to assimilate consciously. We respond to the sun's energy very consciously because as a species, we understand that our survival is dependent on it. I don't know about you, but the luminaries (Sun and Moon) are the easiest to identify with, which makes sense: both rule childhood. We have been consciously and intuitively aware of their energies from a very young age. Soon, we begin to learn to communicate (Mercury) and share/love with others (Venus), as well as assert ourselves towards desires (Mars). I would say that the further planets are from the Sun, the longer it takes for us to consciously assimilate their meaning.

However, though the universe is ordered, it doesn't always follow such a linear path. Let's say I'm born a Sagittarius, making Jupiter my ruling planet. What does that mean? It means, I am more naturally attuned to Jupiter's energy signature and movements. Ahhh, so that's why I'm such an optimist! I have a natural awareness of the opportunities that surround me in life. At some level, I understand that I may get 7 or more chances to succeed in any area of life. So why wouldn't I be more speculative or friendly? I figure, there's plenty to go around! I have a very opportunity-aware consciousness.

The signs are telling us the way we are attuned to various dimensions of human experience. The houses are telling us where we are naturally attuned to experiencing the various dimensions of human experience. The planets are telling us what dimension of human experience we are attuning to. It really all makes sense now. Astrology allows us to consciously engage life in a way that can maximize our potential and live holistically. There is much wisdom to be gained from its study, especially when we engage with the dimensions of transpersonal experience. As our awareness grows and experience accumulates, we can derive even more meaning from our natal placements. In this way, it is easy to see how everyone is eternally a student.

-Shade

Venus in Scorpio

What an intense placement, especially for a Libra rising! For me, it is the sole water element, other than Pluto in Scorpio, in my natal chart.When we talk about Venus, we have to talk about relating to the world in every sense of the word. Resources are part of the way we relate as well-not just monetarily but talent wise. To simplify, to talk Venus it to talk Values.

Water, as an element, is without form. Very free flowing, taking the form of wherever it is placed...or carving the canyon to create a channel to flow. Water is all about depth, what is below the surface, very true for Scorpio. However, Scorpio is interesting because it can both push and pull. Think about a sunken ship...the vessel is underwater but dead sailors might float to the top. Horrible example...but holding what is valuable (the treasure chest perhaps?) and giving up what is no longer needed (dead sailors) is Scorpio fulfilled. Remember, Taurus is the shadow or polar opposite of Scorpio, which means that Scorpio must learn to hold what is valuable, not just destroy or erase everything because the ship sunk, so to speak.

Another keyword for Scorpio is intensity. Combining it with values, Venus in Scorpio symbolizes intense values. Extremes are a byproduct of Scorpio intensity-you either love it or you hate it. Having a Libra Ascendant can help to mitigate the outward expression, since it is a sign of balance. I have strong feelings towards music and movies. I can't stand when other people try to force me to listen to music, but in many scenarios, my Libran influence allows me to make concessions. I usually have strong gut feelings towards any new form of art but that isn't a strong indicator of whether I'll actually like it or not. It does mean that I will probably resist to the bitter end!

In relationships, moreso with women, I want them to give me everything. That's a bold statement, I know. It is more about going beyond relating on a superficial or surface level, than possession. Possession is the dark side...or even just drowning them with my attention, magnetism...whatever talents or resources I have. I haven't been told it very often but "you're coming on too strong" sounds like Scorpio intensity. If Venus is about relating, exchange and reciprocity, then I expect them to give me everything because I give them everything. This type of trade is not always welcome, especially early in the relationship.

In a previous post, I spoke a bit about the aesthetics Venus in Scorpio attracts me to. Things that are beautifully dark. I'm not one for zombies or the more gory scenes of death and torture; I'm more about the Morticia Addams and Lydia (from Beetlejuice) types. The picture I included at the top is a great example of the type of art I identify with: sexy, intense and dark. My favorite Kanye West album is My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. I can't make this stuff up!

Of course, the house position informs us more of the where this placement manifests the strongest. For me, it is in the 2nd house, which is a natural home to Venus. It amplifies my attunement to those values and resources. I actually have a 2nd house stellium (3 or more planets in a house), so this is a really important placement for me. OK, one more...my North Node is in Taurus, which rules the 2nd house! To translate, my values are of crucial importance. Venus in the 2nd house is supposed to attract money easily, given that Venus is satisfied. My Venus must be super hungry because I am broke!

Things Venus in Scorpio are attracted to: astrology, psychology, tarot, palm reading, criminology, forensics, sex, vampires, death, paranormal phenomena, geneaology, magic, paganism, shapeshifters (Michael Jackson, Lady Gaga, Madonna), historical revolution. 

I would be interested to hear about your values and appreciations, should you have this placement or be a Scorpio! Leave a comment or talk with me on Twitter @PersephoneAstro

-Shade